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‘But I can’t just ‘forget’ about this anymore! It’s not possible!’

While Poliana contemplated, Princess Luminae giggled beautifully. Her golden hair, though different shade than her father’s, still shined with amazing luster. The head of the Second Division felt burdened as she wondered, ‘What if his highness asks me it’s really his?’

How should she answer if he asks such a question?

Poliana didn’t know. Of course, she knew her emperor wouldn’t ask a question like that. He wasn’t that kind of man at all. She knew he would instead try to console her. He would say something like, “You must’ve been feeling lonely and scared.” He would be kind and gentle to her.

It was only Poliana’s imagination that he would ever ask her if the child was truly his. It was the worst and the scariest thought and Poliana couldn’t stop it from haunting her.

Poliana wouldn’t spend the night with any other man. Lucius the First was the only one, but there was no proof of this claim. It was going to be just her words. If she was Lucius the First, Poliana would’ve been suspicious. Since she took advantage of him, who is to say she hasn’t done this before?

In her mind, she was just a drunk woman who “raped” a defenseless man. So if such a woman went to the “victim” and tell him and she was pregnant with his child, who would believe her?

If the man believed her, that would make him an idiot.

The truth was, Lucius the First was indeed an idiot when it concerned Poliana. But Poliana was unaware of this. To her, the emperor was the most handsome and kindest ruler there ever was or could be.

Normally, Poliana would’ve felt more confident about her situation and how to deal with it. With her utmost trust in Lucius the First and her powerful status, she would’ve been more decisive, However, the reality was that Poliana’s emotional state was still very fragile from everything that happened to her. She couldn’t help feeling pessimistic, and it also didn’t help that her hormones were out of balance.

Usually, when a woman became pregnant by accident, an abortion was recommended. It was the darkest responsibility of the midwives. However, in this case, this was not an option. This baby… It wasn’t just Poliana’s. If it was, Poliana wouldn’t have hesitated in getting rid of it, but it was also partly Lucius the First’s, and Poliana could never harm the bloodline of her emperor.

So if she could not kill it, the only option for her was to keep it. Now that this decision was made, the next dilemma was what to do after she had the baby. If she had it in the current situation, this baby would be a bastard. There were two types of bastards; either recognized or unrecognized by the parents.

The former was the lucky one that sometimes even they could be adopted by a married couple. The most common example was if a couple only had daughters and the husband ended up having a male bastard outside of his marriage. Oftentimes, this child would be adopted and become the official heir to the family.

So what if the child was not recognized by the father? Then, the decision was for the mother’s to make. She could abandon the child at the doorstep of the father’s home if she wished.

Poliana was going to be a mother. She was going to have an unwanted child. What are her options? The usual options for a woman in her situation were as followed:

Abandon.

Kill.

Have the child be adopted by someone.

In the worst-case scenario, pretend the child is her current husband’s.

The first two options were not acceptable to Poliana. This baby was going to be Lucius the First’s. If it was a son, although he would be a bastard, he will still be the first-born son of the emperor. This child would have to be raised accordingly as part of the bloodline of the royal family.

There were romantic stories out there about this kind of situation. An unmarried lady becomes pregnant with a handsome knight’s child. The knight, a highborn nobleman, was already married with an heir. The knight secretly supports the single mother and his son. The knight’s official heir ends up dying accidentally and the single mother and the bastard son reunite with the knight; a happy ending!

This was considered a romantic and beautiful story that was popular among the knights. If Poliana was not the pregnant one but the knight, she would’ve been willing to support the single mother too. Abortion was not an option. Poliana also could not abandon her child. When she heard the romantic story, Poliana thought it was a nice fiction, but now that it was happening to her… She realized how horrifying her situation was.

‘Why, why, why, why me! Why meee!’

Poliana screamed silently and stomped her feet. Her body tensed, and she ended up squeezing the princess, who was still in her arms. When Princess Luminae began to cry, Poliana immediately relaxed. She tried to console the baby, but the princess refused to stop crying.

Poliana quickly ran out of the door and yelled, “Help!”

The wet nurse, who was waiting nearby, quickly held the baby in her arms. The princess had been just fine when she left her with the knightess, so the wet nurse glared at Poliana, who ran away hurriedly. Poliana could hear the princess crying even louder, making her feel guilty.

‘I’m so glad her highness is healthy.’

Poliana’s life was in a shamble, but at least Princess Luminae was healthy, which was all that mattered. Well, at least, this is how Poliana tried to think, but it didn’t take long before she became frustrated again.

‘Dammit! It’s not okay at all.’

Only

She pouted angrily. The early stage of pregnancy is supposed to be fragile and dangerous. All pregnant women were told to be careful and avoid any vigorous activities during their pregnancies. So how was it that Poliana and her baby survived the most intense training in the kingdom? It was the First Division’s hellish training!

‘I wish I miscarried. I wish I lost the baby.’

Poliana’s thoughts were turning dark. She truly wished that she miscarried her baby naturally. It would’ve made things so much simpler. It would’ve been better if this baby disappeared without anyone knowing.

It was such a terrible thought that Poliana bit her lips. Poliana remembered Stra crying for days because of a baby she never had. At the time, Poliana learned to understand how Stra felt, yet here she was, thinking that it would be better to lose her own baby!

Punch! Punch!

Poliana attacked the stone wall angrily.

To feel saddened by Stra’s baby that never existed, yet wanting her own real baby growing inside of her to die… The irony of it was too complicated. There was no good solution to this problem. All Poliana could do was to assault the wall until she felt better.