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This wasn’t just an answer to the emperor’s question, but also a vow Poliana made to herself. Lucius the First knew what his knightess meant. He understood how she felt, and even then, he couldn’t help feeling disappointed.

‘I should’ve proposed as soon as I saw her today.’

Regretting his inaction was useless at this point, it was always futile. Lucius the First said many horrible things to Poliana when he first met her. For example, he announced that he would rather sleep with a dirty wh*re than with her. He said to her that he was prettier than she was. The emperor also ordered his men to get a decent looking soldier to bed her before killing her.

Lucius the First knew he could never fault her for not falling in love with him just based on the things he said to her.

Poliana had never done any wrong with him. Everything was the emperor’s fault and his alone. But Poliana swore to him that she would return. No matter what happens, she will be back. As long as Lucius the First allowed her, she will stay by his side as his knight.

The emperor regretted it again and again. If he knew he was going to fall in love with her, Lucius the First would’ve never said such rude things. He blamed the war; he was too nervous about achieving his dream that he said things he shouldn’t have.

Poliana’s request today might have sounded simple but what it represented certainly wasn’t. Poliana’s head was filled with what might happen if she bore a son while the emperor couldn’t stop thinking about proposing to her.

And in the end, they parted their ways for now.

***

Instead of telling the truth, Poliana chose to run. She didn’t have a plan. Not having a plan was her plan. Thankfully, she didn’t show now, but soon, her body would change. If she remained in Yapa, people would know that she was pregnant.

An unmarried woman pregnant… It was going to be the juiciest gossip this city had in a very long time because it would involve Poliana, who was a famous figure, to begin with. Currently, the most popular story in Yapa involves Sir Ainno and Cekel’s upcoming wedding. This was going to be the best time for Poliana to leave quietly while the city was distracted. Once the wedding takes place, people’s interest will turn towards her.

Marquess Poliana Winter, who broke up her engagement to Frau, suddenly getting pregnant… What a sensational gossip it would make! Everyone will want to know who the father is. They will want to know what she does with the child.

This was why she had to leave Yapa.

Lucius the First minimized the powers of the noble landlords in the kingdom, but Poliana’s authority and influence were still much greater in Sitrin than Yapa. It was going to be easy to refuse guests from entering her land. She wouldn’t have to worry about how people saw her.

Poliana will stay in the castle mostly, claiming she wasn’t well and needed rest. She will have her baby without anyone finding out. If it was a girl, she would raise her as her own. If it is a son, she will still raise him as her own, of course. If the child resembled the emperor, she would confess to him. This was Poliana’s plan so far.

This was the least logical plan, but Poliana decided to just go with it. It may have been a selfish decision, but she didn’t care. Her life hasn’t been easy on her. Life was never easy for anyone, but hers was a little more difficult than that of most. She had to work extra hard to achieve what she had now, and she didn’t plan on giving everything up. It was too big of a punishment for a one night’s mistake.

Poliana didn’t want to lose it all. Her power, her reputation, her career, and her name… She wanted to keep all of it till her death. Poliana planned on taking everything with her to the grave. She would never let any of her achievements go. Her name especially… She would never give up her name.

Perhaps it was too early to think too far. There was no guarantee that she would give birth safely. She was a healthy sturdy woman, strong enough to withstand intense training, but childbirth was a very unexpected event.

Even though there was a chance she might not even make it to term, Poliana still could not even imagine losing her accomplishments. She now had 7, maybe 8, months left till her baby was born. Until then, she will be constantly at risk of miscarriage.

Even though the logical thing to do was to marry Lucius the First, Poliana didn’t want this option. To give up everything and marry? It was too unfair.

It was true that Lucius the First was the most eligible bachelor in the kingdom. He was the best husband material without a doubt. And to gain such a husband, there were so many things Poliana had to give up in return.

She would lose so much of herself, she thought.

Lucius the First was the emperor of this kingdom. He ruled this continent.

If she married him, Poliana would gain a lot, of course. Things she used to have… Things she never was allowed to have… Things she lost…

It was possible that Poliana might gain more than she loses. For example, if she became his wife, she would get to experience many new things. She will get new kinds of powers and given the chance to think differently.

Poliana was in her thirties. She was still very young, but still too old to get a whole new life and experience new things. Poliana worked like a dog to accomplish what she had now. She finally had enough power to live the way she wanted, so was it too much to ask to keep her current life? To enjoy herself? Wasn’t it only natural that she wants to remain in power?

Only

‘Let’s just think positively. It looks like I will be getting a true heir of my own, so it’s a good thing, right? Whatever!’

If the baby didn’t resemble the emperor, things were going to be very simple. She was going to give birth in her own land, so it was going to be easy to forge papers for her child. All she had to do was come up with a fake nobleman’s name to put on the birth paper. She would claim that she got married and the father of her child accidentally died right before birth!

She was powerful enough, especially in her own land, to accomplish this.

‘So easy.’

Poliana continued to live in denial. On a battlefield, the best option sometimes was to run, and now that she decided to do this, Poliana didn’t waste any time. She got a few guards for her protection and left Yapa.

She was supposed to rest, but it wasn’t going to happen. She had to ride to her own land, but her body was strong enough to withstand the intense training, so Poliana felt certain she would be able to survive the horse ride.

One good thing was that whether her baby was a boy or a girl, it would be a strong one.