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“You can marry me!”

Lucius the First reminded Poliana of the things she dreamt of when she was planning her wedding with Frau. The emperor knew he could provide all of the things she wanted in a family.

“Pol, you told me that you wanted respect from your spouse! You said love was not necessary. We can have that! It’s okay if you don’t love me because I love you enough for both of us. As long as you respect me, we can have that cozy and warm family you dreamt of! I’m not going to have you as my concubine or one of the wives. I want you as my empress. It’s not because you bore me a son! Even when I thought you were barren, I planned on proposing to you and make you the empress of this kingdom. I wouldn’t have cared if you couldn’t give me an heir!”

If he wished, the emperor could have filled his harem with thousands of beauties. Yet here he was, begging this woman to be his one and only wife. He was ok with her never having his children; he was ok with her not performing the duties of the empress.

Lucius the First continued, “That is how much I love you. I adore you. I tried to give you up for your happiness, but it didn’t work out. I can swear on this kingdom that you will be my one and only wife.”

The emperor was desperate. He had everything in this world except for one thing; love.

With a baby between them, Poliana and Lucius the First had no choice but to get married. The mistake the emperor made was being too rash and impatient. He was so desperate and excited that he forgot to think of how Poliana must feel.

Quietly, she replied, “And as soon as I become your wife, your highness, I will no longer be your knight.”

Just like Lucius the First, Poliana was desperate too. She stammered in tears, “You promised, your highness! You promised that I could remain by your side as your knightess forever! An empress or the wife of an emperor could never be a knight, so why do you keep asking me to give up myself?”

“But you wanted to be my knight to serve me, to follow me and be with me! You told me before that you are willing to work a desk job if it was for me! Being my wife… The only change for you will be that your position will change, but you will still be mine. You will always be by my side. This will never change.”

If the emperor offered her a pen and paper and asked her to serve him as his empress, Poliana would’ve been much more receptive to the idea. The former empress’s ring and flowers weren’t what Poliana wanted nor needed.

She finally exploded. “I don’t want this! I am telling you, I don’t!” Poliana went through so much because of one drunken mistake. Months and months of carrying this baby all alone… and now, she was being forced to become her emperor’s wife, she did not want this one mistake to be the reason for a marriage.

“All the other knights get married and have families while remaining your knight, so why can’t I?! Why me? Why just me! Why can’t I have that too? Just because I ended up having someone’s baby… A baby I didn’t even want… Why must I become your wife?! I don’t even love you!”

Indeed, most knights Poliana knew were married with kids. But even after the wedding, these knights’ lives did not change. No one ordered them to give up their career.

But Poliana had to.

Why?

It was because she was a woman and the man was Lucius the First.

Poliana continued, “Why do I have to confirm what so many people believed? That I was a woman who seduced you! Why do I have to give people the reason to mock me for being a woman? I do not want to enter the lady’s quarters! I do not want to become an empress either! Why do I have to give up the name you gifted me? Why do I have to live in the Yapa castle when I have my own place? I thought you, of all people, would accept what I have become, your highness. I am Marquess Winter. You were the one who gave me everything! That is why I thought you were going to come up with a plan that will allow me to keep what was mine. Even if it may be impossible, I thought you would at least try…”

Poliana knew very well that they had no choice but to get married. She had accepted her fate as soon as she saw her son, but what made her so sad and angry was the way Lucius the First was behaving. She was truly disappointed in him.

Her beautiful emperor was her religion. Poliana believed in him. He was greater than anything she knew in this world. What she wanted was for him to suggest that they should come up with a solution other than getting married, but what he gave her was a love confession.

If he first became angry at her… If he first offered to come up with another plan other than getting married… It would have been much easier for her to accept the idea of marriage if they could not come up with another solution, she wouldn’t have felt so betrayed and miserable.

‘This is strange.’

Poliana had to admit that what she felt did not make sense. Why did she feel so much worse by the emperor’s love confession?

The most beautiful and eligible bachelor in the kingdom confessed his hopeless love for her, so why was she feeling so sad?

Only

The only answer Poliana could come up with was the fact that she was a woman. All of her colleagues were married yet they were allowed to keep their career and status. Their life did not have to change much. Odd times, some knights did retire, but how they were treated by the others did not change. Besides, these knights weren’t forced to retire. It was their choice.

No male knight was asked to leave their position just because they got married. No male knight was forced to quit their job because they had a child. No man ever had to change their last name just because he now had a wife. The only thing the men lost after getting married was the freedom of a bachelor, but this could not compare to what Poliana had to give up.

It was Lucius the First who first accepted her as a knight, yet it seemed that it was also the same man who made her hate being born a woman. Of course, Poliana didn’t want to blame him. Everything that was happening to her was all because she was a woman; this is what happens to a woman.

Poliana’s scream woke the baby up. Dog Stew began to cry loudly and flail his arms. Poliana walked up to him and held him in her arm. Lucius the First watched and murmured, “I am an idiot. I always say I want your happiness, yet I always end up hurting you.”

When Poliana told him she did not love him and that she never wanted this baby, Lucius the First felt deep pain.

“I was so blinded by my love for you that I did not consider you and our baby. I gave you everything and now I was asking you to give them all up. I absolutely understand why you are angry, Pol.”

Poliana continued to keep her back to him and consoled Dog Stew. She didn’t say a word, she just began to feed her baby.