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Chapter 10: Epilogue

Ayase Saki\'s Diary

7th of June (Sunday)

When I said that I was relieved, I really meant it.

I could tell just from meeting him then that he wasn\'t a bad person.

At the same time, he felt very considerate.

He\'s willing to put in new hot water in the bath after he\'s done with his.

I didn\'t expect him to be a student at Suisei though.

8th of June (Monday)

Asamura-kun called out to me at school.

Contrary to my expectations, Asamura-kun is a very flat and even person.

I don\'t like the idea of him just taking the rumours about me at face value, but I know that it can\'t be helped. I know what I look like to others after all.

I was angry. Yet, he accepted that I was angry.

He might be the first person I ever met who was willing to adjust to me like that.

9th of June (Tuesday)

Memo: Asamura-kun likes his fried eggs with soy sauce.

From today onward, I will be cooking food.

Asamura-kun is going out of his way to search for a high-pay part-time job for me, so I will provide him with breakfast and dinner.

He apologized for not being able to find anything, but I knew that it wouldn\'t be this easy.

Especially asking strangers for help.

If I could do that…

10th of June (Wednesday)

Urk, so embarrassing…

To think he would hear that.

I don\'t want to look lame, so I try to keep my hard work a secret.

Maaya came to visit us. She\'s as noisy as always.

The three of us played together, and laughed a lot. How long has it been since I laughed like that.

We exchanged LINE contacts.

It\'s very much like Asamura-kun to keep a scenery picture as his profile picture.

Thanks… for the umbrella.

11th of June (Thursday)

I have to pay more attention when I dry my underwear in my room, yep.

Underwear is just like every other piece of clothing. How could you be so entranced by it, Asamura-kun…

Luckily, he didn\'t try anything vile with it.

But…

He said he won\'t do anything. He admitted to having desires like that, but stated that having them and acting according to them is a different problem.

I couldn\'t agree more.

Whenever I hear his opinion, I realize that I always sympathize with it. That\'s probably why I feel so relaxed.

Asamura-kun is dangerous.

He understands me too well.

12th of June (Friday)

Asamura-kun got angry at me for the first time.

In the heat of the moment, I even told him about it. Even though I didn\'t want to remember it again. Yet, it looks like he experienced something similar to me. I didn\'t ask what exactly though.

We talked a lot, but there\'s things I couldn\'t tell him.

I was willing to sell my body…because I was scared of being indebted to Asamura-kun.

13th of June (Saturday)

At night, Asamura-kun and I ate dinner as just the two of us.

Mom and step-father went off to have dinner as the two of them.

Asamura-kun was the one who came up with it. Shows again that he is considerate even about the smallest details.

That\'s exactly why I can\'t call him \'Nii-san\'.

Once I start calling him like that, I\'ll definitely rely on him all the time.

That is one thing I cannot allow myself.

I\'m sorry, Asamura-kun.

But…whenever I call him Asamura-kun, deep inside my heart, another emotion starts to rise up, different to me calling him a big brother.

It\'s a feeling I haven\'t ever experienced, and I can\'t put a name on it either.

I only realized that I became conscious of Asamura-kun.

It makes me feel uncertain, even gloomy.

Even when I go to bed, I have trouble sleeping recently.

If I don\'t listen to calm music, in order to heal my brain cells, then my hands and feet won\'t relax. Unable to fall asleep without listening to music, how can I even hope to become independent when I\'m like this? I feel pathetic.

…Just what is this feeling, really.