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Chapter 37: I give orders, not Sendai-san — 37

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

The blackboard spells out the history of the world, and Dorabashi wears blue today. What I hear is a repetition of the rise and fall of a country I have no interest in, and the teacher’s voice passes me by unnoticed.

It’s not always what I want it to be.

In the end, giving orders to Sendai-san only upsets her for a very short time, and in the end I feel as unreliable as the smoke that flutters by me.

This is not the kind of outcome I want.

I turn to a page in my textbook.

Sendai-san’s breath.

The sweet scent.

The feel of soft earlobes and bones.

And cheeks that were just a little red.

All that comes to mind is yesterday.

Most of my thoughts are occupied by Sendai-san due to a series of events that I can’t keep in my memory drawer.

This is crazy.

We’ve done things like that before.

I’d given hickeys, I’ve even bitten her on the neck. What I did yesterday was not so different from that.

And yet, the memories continue to linger in my head and become clearer and clearer.

This is all I’ve been doing lately.

When Sendai-san is involved, nothing good happens. I feel like her presence is weighing on me a lot, even though we started this relationship on a whim.

I take out an eraser from the pen case, which I failed to give to Sendai-san and was left in my room.

The eraser that came back from me to her hand shows no sign of having been used.

It’s not like she went out of her way to return it.

If I had not been called by Sendai-san at school, my relationship with her might have been cut off. We never even kissed. I would never have had another thing occupying my mind than the class.

「Don’t just stand there, look at me.」

I hear Dorabashi’s voice, as if referring to me, and look up. However, it was the third boy from the front who was being watched, and he was being asked a very difficult question.

It was me today, wasn’t it?

Having escaped from the target of the eight strikes, I pull another eraser from my pen case and erase the words in my notebook, even though I don’t want to erase any of them.

The answer to the mean-spirited question will never be heard.

I re-copy the blackboard and tuck the eraser returned by Sendai-san into my pen case.

The last class of the day proceeded with eight blows, and still I was not the target of the Dorabashi.

「At times like this, the weather forecast is wrong, isn’t it? I was hoping that the gym practice might be canceled.」

After homeroom, Maika comes over and says ruefully.

「I thought it was cancelled too. I’m kind of tired of the whole practice and all.」

The news I saw in the morning told me to take an umbrella with me, but although it was cloudy outside my window, it was not raining.

「Why bother doing it after school? Why don’t you just cancel class?」

Ami looks at the sky, which has not dropped a single raindrop, as if she were looking at an abominable thing, and then she starts to complain about the joint practice for the gymnastic festival. Finally, she added,「I can’t wait to go home.」

「Well, complaining won’t stop it, so let’s go before I get angry.」

「I know, right?」

I agree with Maika’s resigned voice and stand up with my gym clothes. Unmotivated, the three of us leave the classroom and head to the locker room. In the hallway, Ami keeps muttering「I don’t want to do it,」 and Maika keeps agreeing.

Even with all that going on, the weather forecast remained off and we went out to the field.

It was only a joint practice, and there were so many people that the supposedly large field felt small. Not to mention that even Sendai-san is there.

We are not lined up yet.

But because we are somehow grouped by grade level and class, it was inevitable that I would immediately see her in the next class. Inevitably, Ibaraki-san’s figure next to me also came into view, but there was nothing I could do about that.

Sendai-san is a conspicuous person, but Ibaraki-san is even more conspicuous.

Obviously, brown hair and worn-out gym clothes.

She is equipped with piercings and nail polish and acts like she has no enemies at school. Some of my other friends by my side are similar, and it’s like a different world out there.

But seeing Ibaraki-san happily talking to boys, I don’t think she and Sendai-san would get along.

I don’t know why they are together.

When I was just watching them from afar, I thought they were just like each other, but not anymore.

Sendai-san does not seem to have the same interests as Ibaraki-san.

「Shiori, what are you staring at?」

「Eh? Ah, I just can’t wait to get it over with.」

Maika taps me on the shoulder with a tap, and I disappear Sendai-san from my sight.

「We haven’t even started yet, and you won’t finish. I mean, there’s Ibaraki-san, isn’t she? She’s supposed to skip these things.」

「Aren’t she worried about her internal score?」

Ami said with a laugh, and Maika sounded appalled.

「After all this time?」

「Even after all this time, it’s better than not caring.」

「Well, yes. Oh, by the way, Shiori. Hasn’t anything happened with Sendai-san since then?」

Maika shifts her gaze from Ibaraki-san to Sendai-san and asks in an expectant voice. Ami also grabs my arm, saying,「I want to hear that as well 」

Sendai-san came to the classroom and called me over.

It was a surprise to Maika and Ami, and since then they have been talking about Sendai-san a lot. Simply put, Sendai-san, who came all the way to call me, was an object of interest to both of them.

Although I gave them a reasonable reason, the fact that they asked me about Sendai-san in this way means that they are not convinced.

I let out a small gasp as I looked at their faces, clearly stating that they wanted to hear an interesting story.

「What’s something?」

「Eh— Something must be fishy!」

Maika says as a matter of course.

「There’s no way there’s anything there.」

「Well, that’s right.」

I hear the obvious words from Maika, and my heart gets a little heavy.

But only a little, really.

It’s not a big weight.

「Why don’t we just do the gymnastics festival on the spot?」

Maika, who has lost interest in my relationship with Sendai-san, says something cumbersome and sneezes. I replied,「Why didn’t they just cancel it even if it wasn’t raining?」 and looked at Sendai-san again.

What are they talking about, laughing with Ibaraki-san

Naturally, she doesn’t look at me.

Since entering the third year, I have not been able to hold on to my feelings toward Sendai-san.

I thought I was running slowly, but then my mind starts running at such a great speed that I almost get caught for speeding. Reason is swept away and useless.

It should be better to let go of these feelings, Sendai-san and all. If I don’t, I will get in trouble. I know. I know, but I also want to give her orders all the time.

Making her do what I say, making her obey and submit.

——I feel like an idiot.

I look up at the sky lazily.

It was this kind of half-assed weather when I gave Sendai-san 5,000 yen at the bookstore.

The rainy season had ended then, so just barely a year had not passed.

What was I doing this time last year?

I try to remember, but my memory is hazy.

「They want us to line up.」

As I stood there in a daze, Maika poked me in the back with a thump.

At any rate, last year’s gymnastics festival was boring.

That was all I could remember.