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Chapter 68 - I Won\'t Leave You

"It\'s..." Jeremy gulped looking at her reddened eyes. He bowed his head realizing his mistake.

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly. It is a covenant made between two people in love. Some consider it sacred. And he thought of it as some deal that would keep her safe and close to him without even considering her feelings.

"You\'re easily saying that I can get back with Gerry after you let me go. What will you do if I want to continue my relationship with Gerry while I am married to you on paper?" She looked at him.

It only hit her when he barged into her room claiming he is her husband. He used to like her and he has some awareness that he is her husband. So, how is he sure he will let her go?

"No way!" Jeremy said without thinking.

"What is the difference? You\'re saying you\'ll annul the marriage and that means our marriage is not valid. So why can\'t I meet others? Are you afraid that you\'ll be called a c**k by your peers?" she looked at him and he gulped.

Because I love you, I cannot see you with another man. At least, not when we are married.

But he didn\'t want to tell her this reason. So he told her another reason, "For your protection, we have to maintain our-"

"Pst... my protection," she snorted interjecting him. He placed his fork on the table and she saw his fingers trembling. "Why are you doing this, TJ?" she looked at him and he pressed his lips.

"Do you-"

Do you love me?

She wanted to ask, but she stopped herself. Everything he does...Understanding her,? even yesterday when he talked for her...

But he refuses to admit he loves her and so it might not be the case. And he has no problem saying that she can return to Gerry.

She decided to not talk about it again with him. She doesn\'t care enough to know anyway. She doesn\'t care about love.

"Do you know what I wanted most in my life? More than money and more than anything else..? A small family - a caring husband, two kids, a small suburban home with a swing and a pool in the backyard..." her voice started trembling. "...and enough to get by... nothing more... nothing more. I thought I can have it all with Gerard, but at the first sight of trouble...Ugh!" she wiped her tears.

"He tried. I won\'t deny that he tried to make it all work. Maybe I am not lucky. I am cursed or something... Gerry - he did what he thought was best. He came to you and you two decided on my behalf. And now..."

I lost my baby and Gerard left me with another man.? He found it acceptable to marry Emma of all people. She came to me to brag, pushing me to... and Gerard had a part in it. He still is not willing to tell me the truth.

And Jeremy did something unforgivable.

I can never forgive him. I don\'t want to love anyone anymore. Love will only hurt you in the end.

"...that\'s why it would be better if you let me go. Let me be. I don\'t want anyone else to decide for me."

Her eyes clouded and she couldn\'t see his expression. She tried to take the plate to wash it, but her hands shook.

"Leave it," she heard his voice and pulled herself together. She didn\'t want to be pitiful in front of him.

"It\'s fine. I can wash the dishes," she walked to the sink.

Jeremy saw her back, scrubbing the plate and the bowls in the sink. He has a dishwasher, but it seems like she wants to wash them with her hands. Her petite figure looked like she desperately needed a hug.

He wanted to hug her, but he didn\'t know if she\'ll accept his hug. But he knew she was crying and she needed comfort.

He was glad he talked to her. She told him what hurts her and it is good for her to not bottle up her feelings. Meeting Gerard and Emma without preparing her heart has hurt her. She feels like she has no control over her life, which is acceptable and it is his fault.

But there is still something that hurts her more that she will never talk about, at least, not to him – her miscarriage!

"I\'m here for you, Jerlina. I won\'t leave you no matter how dangerous everything around you gets," he stood behind her and spoke softly in her ears.

He did a big blunder, a sin even, but he was willing to set it right somehow.

Jerlina got stiff as she heard that smooth, deep voice rolled in her ears. He was standing so close behind her and she could feel the warmth from him. Along with the citrusy scent of the dishwashing detergent, the distinct scent of pine surrounded her.

He then got the plate from her hand, still standing behind her. "Tell me what you want and I will give it to you. You can do anything you want. Anything that will not affect your safety."

He won\'t leave me...I can do anything I want...

His tone had a warmth that she cannot shirk off. The warmth she felt on her back, combined with the warmth in her ear, slowly seeped deeper, melting the strong wall of ice that had formed around her heart.

He should be trying to make me dependant on him. That\'s why he\'s saying those words to me. I cannot be a fool.

"I packed lunch for you," he pointed a bag at the counter as she slipped away from him.

"I don\'t want-"

"Then throw it away on your way out," Jeremy knew this is the only way for her to accept it.

He saw her standing by the bag, contemplating for five seconds before taking it and leaving. He heard Scarlett honking her horn from the gates and his lips curved to a smile.

"Now I have to make you accept the car I bought for you..," he mumbled.

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Jeremy didn\'t know why the beautifully cooked steak in front of him is not appetizing for him. He always loved the ambiance in this restaurant his sister loved and he always orders the steak here.

"You look tired," he said looking at Emma\'s face. She doesn\'t look like a happy girl who just returned from her honeymoon and it is not weird considering their relationship. But it broke his heart.

"The return flight was very long and I... ugh! The jetlag is killing me!" she sighed.

She unconsciously rubbed her waist. She tried to ask Gerard what he talked with Jerlina about. She wanted to know if she told him about her miscarriage. Her usual tactics that work with most men, didn\'t work with Gerard, and she resorted to nagging.

He snapped and pushed her aside. She ended up hitting her waist on the table and it still hurts. He didn\'t even apologize and it is all that b*tch\'s fault!

"Why did you leave early?" Jeremy asked. "You didn\'t even inform me after you landed. I would have appreciated your call."

"I..."

Emma was stunned. He seemed a bit aggressive and he never uses this tone with her.

Is he questioning me because of that b*tch?

"I\'m sorry, Jerry," she smiled with a pout and forced tears in her eyes. "Gerard received an emergency message regarding a case and we had to leave. We were rushing to catch the only available flight and I was so tired after landing since we were looking for the lost luggage. I wanted to call? you after we reached our home, but my mom called me asking me to come to their home and... I am sorry..."

"It\'s fine...you don\'t have to apologize.? I was just asking, that\'s all. Now tell me all about your tour," Jeremy felt bad seeing Emma\'s clouded eyes and spoke in a soft tone.

She had suffered a lot.

They talked about a lot like usual and when they were about to leave, Jeremy decided to ask what he wanted to ask.

"Jerlina will apologize to you for trying to stab you that day," he brought up that subject in a roundabout way.