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Chapter 531: The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare

Hermione sat down; laid the things she was carrying in an empty armchair, and pulled Evan’s predictions toward her.

“Not going to have a very good month, are you?” she said sardonically as Crookshanks curled up in her lap.

“You know, that’s how to deal with Professor Trelawney!” said Evan, looking at the box that Hermione had brought back. Compared with Harry and Ron, the tragic prophecies he had written were more subtle and less tragic.

“No matter what happens, at least we’re forewarned,” Ron yawned.

Hermione put down Evan’s predictions and took Ron’s.

“It is indeed a good warning. You seem to be drowning twice.”

“Oh am I?” said Ron, peering down at his predictions. “I’d better change one of them to getting trampled by a rampaging hippogriff.” 

“Don’t you think it’s a bit obvious you’ve made these up?” said Hermione.

“How dare you!” said Ron, in sarcastic outrage. “We’ve been here all night, working like house-elves!”

Hermione raised her eyebrows and looked at Ron dissatisfied!

“Sorry, Sorry, the wording was inappropriate,” said Ron hastily.

Harry laid down his quill too, having just finished predicting his own death by decapitation at the end of the month.

“Hermione, what’s in the box?” asked Evan, pointing at it. He felt that it would be best not to let Hermione continue to talk about their three Divination assignments.

“I was going to tell you about it. It’s something I’ve been working hard on it for this week. We have to do something for the house-elves,” said Hermione with a smile.

She took off the lid and showed them the contents. Inside were about fifty badges, all of different colors, but all bearing the same letters: S. P. E .W.

“Spew?” said Harry, picking up a badge and looking at it. “What’s this about?”

“Not spew,” said Hermione impatiently. “It’s S-P-E-W. Stands for the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare.”

“Never heard of it,” said Ron.

“I’ve never heard of it!” added Harry.

Evan didn’t speak. He knew what was going on. It seemed that Hermione was not satisfied with just writing articles for the newspaper.

She had always talked about doing something tangible for the house-elves, and she was referring to this.

“Of course you haven’t heard of it,” said Hermione briskly, “I’ve only just started it.”

“Yeah?” said Ron in mild surprise. “How many members have you got?”

“Well, if you three join… four.” said Hermione.

“Join?! And you think we want to walk around wearing badges saying ‘spew,’ do you?” said Ron.

“It’s S-P-E-W!” said Hermione hotly. “I was going to put Stop the Outrageous Abuse of Our Fellow Magical Creatures and Campaign for a Change in Their Legal Status – but it wouldn’t fit. So that’s the heading of our manifesto.”

She brandished the sheaf of parchment full of words at them.

“This is our specific charter. I’ve been researching it thoroughly in the library. Elf enslavement goes back centuries. I can’t believe no one’s done anything about it before now.”

“Hermione, open your ears,” said Ron loudly. “THEY, LIKE, IT! They like being enslaved!”

“Our short-term aims,” said Hermione, as she stood up, speaking even more loudly than Ron, and acting as though she hadn’t heard a word, “are to secure house-elves fair wages and working conditions. Our long-term aims include changing the law about non-wand use, and trying to get an elf into the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, because they’re shockingly underrepresented.”

“Take it easy, Hermione!” Evan got her to sit down.

Hermione looked angry, still staring discontentedly at Ron, who looked unhappy too.

“Well, how can we do all this?” asked Harry softly.

“We start by recruiting members,” said Hermione happily. “I thought two Sickles to join, that buys a badge! And the proceeds can fund our leaflet campaign. You’re treasurer, Ron; I’ve got you a collecting tin upstairs. And Harry, you’re secretary, so you might want to write down everything I’m saying now, as a record of our first meeting. As for Evan, I think you are suitable to be the president, because you are very famous in the magic circle, which is conducive to our publicity, and you also need to deal with the Ministry of magic. And I am the vice-president of the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare, and I am mainly responsible for all day-to-day affairs; that’s all.”

There was a pause in which Hermione beamed at the three of them.

Evan frowned at the charter of the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare written by Hermione. It seemed that she did look up a lot of information.

Ron stared at Hermione dumbstruck, his eyes bulging slightly, and his mouth open.

Harry sat, torn between exasperation at Hermione and amusement at the look on Ron’s face.

After a while, there was a silence, a moment of peace before the storm.

“I’m not in!” said Ron directly, pushing the badge in front of him.

“Ron?!” Hermione’s eyebrows rose again. “We’re saving the house-elves!”

“I said it, they like it, they like to be slaves to others!” said Ron stubbornly, “I’m not going to follow you into the kitchen and mobilize them to stop working. I’m definitely not going to do that.” 

“No one likes to be a slave. This is extremely unfair to the house-elves.” said Hermione, “Whether wizards or house-elves, we are all born equal. Wizards can’t build their magic civilization on the efforts and oppression of house-elves. We must stop this phenomenon.”

“You don’t know anything about house-elves, Hermione!” Ron said, “Don’t persuade me to join in your spew trick.”

“It’s not a trick; it’s not spew. It’s the house-elves rights…”

Before Hermione had finished, Ron stood up from the chair and shouted in his loudest voice. “IN MY OPINION, IT IS SPEW. I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE A FOOL, HANGING THIS BADGE ON MY CHEST AND BEING LAUGHED AT.”

They both looked at each other, breathing, and Ron’s face turned red. Even his ears were red.

Then, he violently picked up his Divination homework and quill and rushed back into his bedroom, the sound of him closing the door was particularly loud.

“Don’t blame Ron, he’s been under too much pressure recently, and he’s been making tragic predictions here all night!” said Harry.

He winked at Evan and hurried back to the bedroom to persuade Ron.

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