gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

The middle doors of the imperial city were open to welcome examinees from across the land, so all the buff imperial guards adorning their shiny white armour were standing guard with stern faces.

Taishu Hall, situated southwest of the imperial city’s exterior and neighbouring Hanlin Academy, was the library of the imperial palace. On days without pressing matters to attend to, His Majesty would visit Taishu Hall to listen in to lectures as per the stipulation of Li Dynasty’s second Emperor. This year, Taishu hall was chosen as the imperial exam venue.

Exams were either held at Taishu Hall or Daren Academy. Due to the short timeframe they had to prepare this year, though, they had to start preparations as soon as autumn walked in, which clashed with the timing of Daren Academy’s idol competition. To make matters worse, Principal Huang wasn’t in any shape to be on host duties, which was why they chose Taishu Hall.

The announcement of a special imperial exam was worthy of a nationwide celebration, especially for civil servant advocates. After all, Li Clan was a clan of martial artists, so Li Dynasty’s military officials flourished under their rule compared to civil servants. However, after five generations of Emperors, six including Emperor Yuansheng’s reign, the balance was no longer as skewed as it once was. Although it took a century, civil servants’ push for giving them more importance was gradually paying off.

The civil servants believed that a prosperous rule required a push for literacy, and what better time was there to push for it when the world was at peace and the people’s basic needs were met? It was time to lay down arms and pick up books. The fact that His Majesty was willing to add an extra imperial exam proved that he saw the value in academics.

One would never see so many handsome, well-groomed boys and girls resembling characters out of paintings flocking to a single destination in the early morning besides the main doors of the imperial city. In fact, the elders of Hanlin Academy all came out to catch the grandeur view. Professor Wang Zhenyun, who’d spent his entire career as a lecturer for Hanlin Academy, couldn’t hold back his tears as he watched the examinees make their way to the doors. He patted the shoulders of his young students and, in a shaky voice, said, “Twenty years. It took me twenty years of teaching to finally see this noble scene. Principal Huang and His Majesty have done so much for this country.”

Twenty years ago, which was exactly a decade into Emperor Yuansheng’s rule, the nation finally escaped the clutches of war, so it was time for a much-due period of growth. Professor Wang didn’t have a grey beard back then and didn’t hold a post remotely close to his current one, but he had started tutoring by then, so he knew what the exam standards of the time were as well as the level of scholars back then. At the time, very few people showed up for the imperial exams. To make matters worse, most of them thought reading was a waste of time; they thought they could participate as long as they could swing a weapon. In those days, catching examinees who couldn’t fulfil the fundamental courtesy procedures was the equivalent to an entire day’s worth of work. Today, there were cleanly dressed and groomed young scholars exuding elegance. Mayhap the star who could take literature culture to the next level was among them.

Arms were losing prevalence. The brush was rising.

Professor Wang’s young companions who shared his dream gazed in the same direction he did.

“To see such a prosperous era makes this old one, old one… hmm?”

Right at the back of the group was a tall man over dressed slovenly whilst hanging a green foxtail from his mouth. To make matters worse, he yawned non-stop, wobbling thrice every step. To say he was a ruffian from the streets would be an insult to the ruffians. Even worse, all his cronies behind him were clearly bad news. The most passable one was a pregnant woman.

“What a blasphemy to culture! Who is he?!”

***

I was as sleepy as hell. I didn’t get any shuteye last night – again. It felt as though I hadn’t slept in ages. I regretted not accepting Boss’ offer to let me sleep at her place last night. I was up all night brainstorming since I finally had the blueprint of the secret passage, yet not one feasible idea came to mind.

There was no doubt in my mind that the Champion White Princes would make their move while I was busy with the exams. It was actually simple to counter their plan: seal the passage. If I told His Majesty about the passage, he’d have it sealed off, and the problem would be solved. The next problem was that it’d also alert them. Though I didn’t know the specifics of their plan, I had an advantage since I knew they were planning to use the passage. If we sealed it off, it’d just squash that specific plan. If we went all in on that, we’d be caught off guard in the event they switched to an alternative plan. Plus, it might seal off our route to investigating who killed Elder Yu. Why? Because the passage limited the number of people who could simultaneously pass through, meaning only their elites or best combatants would use it.

While Boss’ hypothesis wasn’t flawless, Mount Lu certainly wasn’t free of suspicion by my accounts. With that said, I couldn’t form any conclusions unless I personally saw their members come out from the passage. On the other hand, I could narrow down on suspects significantly if I knew who came through the passage. Whoever colluded with Gongsun Chu would have to be the one who killed Elder Yu, after all. For that reason, I kept my newfound knowledge of the passage a secret. Surely His Majesty, a grown man, wouldn’t be in trouble just because of that, right? Protecting him wasn’t part of my job description.

When I yawned again, Long Zaitian grumbled, “How many times is that now? Whose house did you break into last night?”

I had someone summon the new guardian of the capital’s nine doors first thing in the morning to discuss our defensive strategies for the next three days. Of course, my other motive was to have an extra bodyguard. If there was one decision I couldn’t be wrong on, it was having more bodyguards. I didn’t expect the moron to come alone! What help was one extra Long Zaitian going to be?! Thankfully, I had Yuan Kou and company accompany me. I stressed to them to be vigilant for anyone who tried to approach me.

Long Zaitian was genuinely concerned about the capital’s security, so we discussed it the entire way. I had capable fighters by my side, and Bronze Mask hadn’t struck, so why did I have to put up with Long Zaitian?

“Who the hell are you calling a criminal? Daddy was busy for the sake of this nation all last night. Watch your doors. Stop making us at Liu Shan Men carry you. Don’t forget I climbed the ranks faster than y-”

“Blasphemy to culture! Blasphemy!”

Who the hell is this now?

I looked over my shoulder to see a man in his sixties charging over to me.

“Uncouth speech, bizarre attire, a bad influence on virtues, this… this… is blasphemy to culture!” thundered the elder, pointing in my face as he spoke and then yanking the green foxtail out of my mouth. He threw the foxtail on the ground and stamped on it. “Who are you? Are you an examinee? Why are you dressed this way? And why have you assembled so many unbecoming people?! Why are you loitering when you’ve arrived outside the imperial city? Have you any idea what time it is?”

So… who is gramps here?

“Hey, hey, hey! Back up!” Yuan Kou pushed the elder straight to the ground. “You know how this man here is? You’re a bit too old to be trying these lame extortion tactics.”

Why did you push Gramps over when I have yet to identify him?

“Y-y-you would… dare to assault this old one…?” The old man struggled to his feet, still livid.

“How could you assault someone as a student?”

“Gentlemen use reason, not their fists.”

“Elder Wang is in his sixties. What happens if you hurt him badly?”

The young individuals dressed in officials’ uniform really didn’t hold back.

If they’re being so respectful, could he be an official? Best not to offend him, then.

Gu Xianxian: “Man, shut up! You think we don’t know how to walk in ourselves? You should be honoured Sir Ming is here to grace your venue with his presence. If he doesn’t want to take the exam, you’d all be without a job.”

“Hora, bakayaro!” Teng yelled in Dongying’s underworld language with his eyes wide.

Lang Qing silently started drawing his blade, prompting the young ones to scuttle back.

“What are you doing?! Mind your manners!” I chided.

Goodness me. How brash can you lot be?

As soon as he saw me show signs of walking towards them, Long Zaitian stopped me.

Long Zaitian know him?

“Ming Feizhen, don’t be careless. What if he’s posing as someone?”

“Oh?!”

Long Zaitian had a point. It certainly was suspicious for someone to approach me out of the blue. Nevertheless, the elder seemed to want to have a word with me. Thus, I took a step back and shouted, “Elder, did you want to speak to me?”

The elder, having now finally stabilised himself on his feet, pointed to me and shouted, “This old one wants to talk some sense into you! Come over here to talk!”

“Oh, oh, sure. However, I will need you to cooperate for a moment.”

The elder looked perplexed.

“Frisk him,” I instructed.

Yuan Kou and Gu Xianxian boldly frisked the elder in broad daylight in spite of the shocks voiced around. Yuan Kou tipped the elder upside down, while Gu Xianxian searched the elder’s body and tugged on his face. Once done, the two of them tossed the elder to the ground.

“He is clean, Sir. He does not seem to know martial arts.”

“His face is genuine, Sir.”

Cool. Good to know.

I smiled and headed over. “From a trade of blows, friendship blooms.”

“Get lost!” The elder got up a second time, but he looked ready to put his life on the line. “You lot… You lot…” Panting, he seized my collar and roared, “You… You thug. You are scum of the earth! Who is your pathetic teacher? Go change right this second! Get rid of these vermin and apologise to me sincerely. Otherwise, you will not be entering the exam venue!”

“Easy, easy. Calm down first, Elder.” I gently patted the elder’s hands. “May I ask who you are?”

Since I was affable, the elder raised his chest and flicked his sleeves. Gaze cast heaven bound, he leisurely answered, “This old one is Wang Zhenyun, professor at Hanlin Academy.”

Ah, a colleague at Hanlin Academy.

“Are you here as an examiner today, Elder?”

“No.”

“Are you in charge of inspections outside the exam venue today?”

“Hmph, no.”

“Are you an assessor?”

“Of course not.”

“I see.” I stepped back two steps, pointed at the elder and thundered, “Aren’t you just an ordinary citizen, then?! What are you acting tough for?!”

You scared me, you coot! I thought you were an examiner! How dare you even insult my shifu?!

The elder grabbed his chest. “You would dare speak to me in that rude tone?”

“What about it? Do something about it. Keep it up and I’ll…”

Yuan Kou whispered, “Sir, you need to be a little refined for the exams.”

“Refined? I… I… I will insult you every time I see you!”

Everyone headed for the entrance stopped to spectate.

“Your attire fails to observe formalities. You will not set foot into the imperial city in that clothing!”

“Formalities, you say? Okay, what formality?”

“Students entering the imperial city must be dressed in clean and neat clothing, as well as groomed cleanly. What makes you think you can disrespect the imperial city?”

“So that’s the imperial city’s formalities, right? Okay, let me ask you a question.”

“Go ahead.”

“Have I entered the imperial city?”

“…”

“Why on earth are you bringing up the imperial city’s rules with me, then?!”

The elder looked close to passing out from anger.

The impression of the imperial court that examinees heading to the venue that day formed was based on a single scene – an elder and a young man going on verbal tirades against each other.

“I can’t believe there is someone like you outside the imperial city on the day of the imperial exams in this prosperous era.”

“In what era has there not been people with bad manners? How can you be so narrow-minded after living for more than sixty years of life?! Never seen a bad guy in a prosperous era?!”

Glossary

Middle doors – Take it literally. They are the doors in the middle section of the imperial city.