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Chapter 305: Break (1)

Under normal circumstances, Su-Hwan would have insisted on a few hours of practice even if we were tired, but today, he seemed particularly keen to send Yoon-Chan back to the dormitory first.

It was an unavoidable decision. Although everyone was juggling busy schedules, Yoon-Chan’s was exceptionally cramped. His recent success in a drama audition had added numerous commitments to his calendar. Drama schedules, particularly informal ones, far outnumbered the official ones.

Yoon-Chan played the son of the lead couple, so he wasn’t in a central role, but was slated to appear in each episode. He had to participate in all the meetings and rehearsals. The overlap of drama schedules, script memorization, and album promotions naturally left him utterly exhausted and frequently nodding off.

Su-Hwan was conscientiously reducing Yoon-Chan’s extra activities, such as practice and music show rehearsals, to help manage his well-being. Despite these efforts, the strain on Yoon-Chan was palpable, and his frequent absences from rehearsals led to an uptick in mistakes.

“We\'re here. Ensure you are thoroughly warmed up before starting, and I will take Yoon-Chan back once you’re done."

“Yes."

“...Okay."

While most of the group members understood and accommodated Yoon-Chan’s situation as much as possible, his repeated absences and errors were starting to impact the album activities. This simmered a mild discontent among the members.

“So, when does Yoon-Chan practice? Early in the morning? I could come out briefly at dawn to help him." Goh Yoo-Joon’s voice carried a hint of frustration. His usually calm demeanor slightly cracked.

Su-Hwan watched him with an unreadable look, nodding after a moment. “He’s been practicing alone early in the morning. You are welcome to join him then."

“Okay. I will head to the practice room with Yoon-Chan at dawn."

Goh Yoo-Joon quickly excused himself with a nod and vanished toward the practice room. This left a palpable tension hanging in the air. His inability to mask his discomfort made the atmosphere among the members and Su-Hwan inevitably more charged.

Joo-Han watched Goh Yoo-Joon disappear and gently pushed Su-Hwan toward the car. “Ah, that kid is always so emotional. I will take care of him, so please take Yoon-Chan to the dorm. He has a recording soon, and he’s like this because of that."

“...I understand. I appreciate it, Joo-Han."

Joo-Han swiftly cut through the tension by directing the group back toward the practice room. “Come on, everyone. Let’s head back."

Goh Yoo-Joon’s agitation wasn’t lost on anyone. Known for his light-hearted demeanor and role as the group’s mood maker, he had a history of excelling during trainee evaluations. His perfectionist streak, especially regarding stage performances, was well-recognized.

While supportive of Yoon-Chan’s acting pursuits, the continuous mistakes during album activities were hard to overlook. Still, the absence from practices and rehearsals continued. It wasn’t that he was adept at his performances. He was visibly struggling with an important recording looming. Therefore, Goh Yoo-Joon’s stress was understandable.

“Yoo-Joon hyung isn’t really mad, is he?"

“No, he is just stressed because of the upcoming session with Callia Lawrence." Goh Yoo-Joon was particularly meticulous about his vocals, and was reasonably tense. The eagerly awaited recording session with Callia Lawrence was on the horizon, after all.

The group’s understanding of Yoon-Chan’s rehearsal absences mirrored their understanding of Goh Yoo-Joon’s pre-recording tension.

“By the way, what’s with Jin-Sung today?"

“What’s with me?"

Joo-Han clapped a hand on Jin-Sung’s shoulder with a playful spark in his eyes. “I thought you’d be the first to lose your cool, not him."

“Ah, nonsense. I’m not one to lose my temper easily, unlike Yoo-Joon hyung."

“Right, that’s our mature Jin-Sung."

I passed Jin-Sung, who was visibly irked, with a teasing remark. I had also secretly believed Jin-Sung would be the first to get angry. While Goh Yoo-Joon was sensitive about our vocals, Jin-Sung was particularly picky about the quality of the entire performance. Objectively, Jin-Sung had less patience, which I suspected would lead to swift frustration given Yoon-Chan’s recurring mistakes on stage.

Jin-Sung scowled at me and Joo-Han, then shook his head. “How could I be angry at Yoon-Chan hyung? I see how completely exhausted he is every day when we return to our room."

“...You have really matured, huh? I’m touched. Let’s practice now.” Joo-Han playfully teased Jin-Sung by pretending to be overly sentimental.

Indeed, Jin-Sung shared a room with Yoon-Chan and was close to him, so he probably knew how exhausting Yoon-Chan\'s life was.

“Plus, Yoon-Chan hyung really does practice early in the morning."

“Really?"

“Yeah, he practices when everyone\'s asleep. He is always in the pitch-dark room, practicing dance moves and singing softly. At first, I thought it was a ghost... Ah, no, never mind. It\'s nothing. Ghosts don’t exist."

"No, that\'s not true. Ghosts do indeed exist," Joo-Han asserted, his voice firm with conviction.

Upon hearing this, Jin-Sung bolted away. His steps echoed down the hallway. Joo-Han let out a chuckle, his laughter a blend of amusement and disbelief, before he sighed deeply and patted me reassuringly on the back. He then turned around and disappeared into the dimly lit practice room.

The looming recording session with Callia Lawrence filled me with a sense of dread. It had become clear why Yoon-Chan\'s condition was deteriorating despite Su-Hwan\'s efforts to ensure he had enough rest.

Jin-Sung had revealed that Yoon-Chan had been sneaking out to practice at night. This rehearsal was taking a toll on his vocals, leading to frequent mistakes. Even with this knowledge, finding a remedy seemed beyond our grasp.

Although I intended to convince Yoon-Chan to cease these strenuous vocal exercises once we returned to the dorm, turning around his now compromised condition in time for the recording session with Callia Lawrence seemed a herculean task. This predicament stemmed from Yoon-Chan\'s nonstop dedication and unfortunate innocence.

***

The day to record the song composed and written by Callia Lawrence had arrived. Of course, it was impractical for Callia to fly to Korea just to record a track for Chronos. Our entire recording process was facilitated through emails and Skype calls. The parts of the song featuring Callia Lawrence had already been laid down, and now it was up to us to add our contributions.

Joo-Han was tasked with distributing the parts among the members, except for those explicitly requested by Callia Lawrence herself. Although there might be a reassignment of parts after Callia had a chance to review the recording, currently, Yoon-Chan\'s deteriorating vocals made this initial distribution somewhat of a relief.

Joo-Han had received the first draft of the track from Callia. He had already allocated the parts and secured approval from our agency.

“Let\'s proceed with the parts as I\'ve initially distributed them... but be prepared for potential changes," Joo-Han instructed, his voice carrying a mix of authority and anticipation.

"Understood."

“Let’s start the recording."

Joo-Han assumed the role of producer in Callia Lawrence\'s absence, and members stepped into the soundproof recording booth one by one. Goh Yoo-Joon was the first to enter. As I observed his session, a crinkling sound of paper being crumpled caught my attention from the corner of the room.

“...Yoon-Chan?" I called out softly as I spotted him wrestling with a piece of paper. His movements were fraught with frustration.

Yoon-Chan looked up, his face etched with exhaustion and despair, much like during his days as a trainee when he was constantly pressured by the agency staff to maintain a strict diet.

“Are you okay?" I asked, my concern palpable in the silence that followed.

“No... I am really not okay... I’m sorry. I feel like I am just a burden." Yoon-Chan’s voice broke slightly as he struggled to maintain his composure.

“What are you talking about? That’s absolutely not true. Managing your condition isn\'t always possible, even when you desperately want to." I reassured him and tried to alleviate some of his self-imposed guilt.

However, Yoon-Chan’s mood was deeply troubling, laden with an aura of impending doom. Sensing a crisis brewing, I instinctively reached out to comfort him by placing my hand on his shoulder. However, Yoon-Chan abruptly stood up before I could offer words of comfort.

“Thank you for trying to comfort me, hyung. But perhaps... I should never have auditioned in the first place." His voice was a whisper of despair as he sank under the weight of overwhelming pressure and self-loathing. His self-esteem had plummeted, leaving him feeling utterly worthless.

No one was to blame here. The best efforts of Su-Hwan and Tae-Seong had been indeed provided to Yoon-Chan. However, understanding the hidden depths of someone’s feelings, especially during a hectic schedule, was nearly impossible. Everyone was expected to manage their own mental and physical well-being during such a demanding period.

Yoon-Chan seemed trapped in his belief that he was a burden to everyone.

“Why would you say that? Everything is okay, really. Why wouldn’t it be?" I tried to reassure him, but his response was to shake his head before turning toward Joo-Han.

“Umm... Joo-Han hyung...”

“Hmm?” Joo-Han turned his chair, still distracted by Goh Yoo-Joon’s voice.

“Umm... Could you possibly reduce my parts a bit? I really don\'t think I can handle it." He pleaded, and his voice was thick with emotion. Even from behind, his posture suggested he was on the verge of tears.

However, asking to suddenly reduce his parts appeared to be a tricky request. As I frowned and stood up, Joo-Han’s gaze shifted to Yoon-Chan and grew cold. “Are you serious?”

“My throat is just too...”

“Okay. Go sit down then.” Joo-Han cut off Yoon-Chan, spun his chair back around, and angrily drew red lines over the lyrics sheet with a pen. It seemed he had erased Yoon-Chan\'s part.

“...Hyung." Jin-Sung looked back and forth between Joo-Han and Yoon-Chan with a shocked expression.

There was something I had overlooked: it wasn\'t just Yoon-Chan and Goh Yoo-Joon who were sensitive.

There was one member who was caught between members who frequently made mistakes on stage due to a grueling schedule and those who openly displayed their sensitivity. He was diligently working to prevent any emotional conflicts along with managers. In the midst of this, he was also handling Jin-Sung\'s solo song by coordinating meetings with Callia Lawrence, and managing the distribution of parts among the members. It was Joo-Han.

The other members might not have noticed, but I was aware of this as the sub-leader. At this moment, the sensitive final boss of our group was Kang Joo-Han.

“Ah... I\'ve never seen Joo-Han hyung get angry at Yoon-Chan before..."

Me neither. This was a first for me, too.

I nodded reassuringly at Jin-Sung and led both Joo-Han and Su-Hwan out of the recording studio. It seemed like everyone really needed a break after this song’s promotion schedule.