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I knew her death was caused by her blessing working to manipulate me in future lives. I just didn’t understand what its goal was. I knew it was impossible for me to outthink something that could predict my every reaction, so my thoughts kept trying to make me move on and focus on what was important. My soul, however, kept returning to the last moment I saw Mei alive.

That genuine smile of warmth didn’t come from her blessing. Her blessing couldn’t mess with me directly like that anymore. Was it possible that her blessing alone was responsible for driving her to suicide in such a short timeframe? I felt that was nonsense. There had to be more to the story, but my feelings didn’t hold any sway over my body.

Both body and soul were glad my time as city lord had come to an end. For the last two years, the title of city lord had been nothing but a distraction. There was no longer much I could learn from the position that would help me in my mission to acquire the spatial seed, so any participation in the city’s governance was nothing but a distraction.

With the title shed, I no longer needed to plan the future of the pill factory or associated farms, and I didn’t need to think about training disciples. Mei had helped take care of most things for me, but a city lord still had a few responsibilities even after everything was delegated out. Having stepped down from the position, I was free of them and could do whatever I wanted.

I needed to keep my focus on my ultimate goal. In a hundred years, Formation Emperor Du XiongMing would die, and I needed to find a way to be next to him when he did.

I needed to form a connection with the ruling family of Brilliant Sun, and I was already in a position to do just that. I was a decent Pill Lord and had designs for a revolutionary pill factory in hand. The problem was that I couldn’t teach formations this life without risking long-term consequences thanks to my oath connected to the Heavenly Dao, so using anything formation-related to form a connection to the empire was currently impossible.

I needed to understand the events that led to the Formation Emperor’s death. I knew nothing about the cause of his death or why he was even in the Brilliant Sun Empire to begin with. If I gained that knowledge, I would be able to set up a plan for acquiring the seed in my next life much more easily. That would be my task for the rest of this life.

Slowly, the thoughts began to converge, gaining a firmer hold over my mind. I regained my focus.

My connections in the kingdom were still in place even though I was no longer a city lord. I could slowly work on raising my alchemy skills while time passed around me. After a hundred years, I just needed to pay for news about the events in Brilliant Sun, and then everything I needed to do in this life would be complete.

That last thought made me smile. I felt happy because that would mean this life could be over once the job was complete.

I took a carriage out of North Lake City and returned to the capital. I booked a room in the Pavilion Residences, and after a long day of rest, I headed to the Workshops to begin my seclusion.

That plan was to let the world drift by for a hundred years, but it only took one for the peace and tranquility of my seclusion to be broken.

I was working late at night when the door of my workshop burst open in a shower of splinters.

Standing in the doorway was someone I hadn’t seen in decades. SuYin.

She was dressed in a ragged, travel-stained robe. Her hair was a mess, and tears were streaming down her face.

“What did you do? What did you do, you bastard?” Tears were streaming down her face.

I looked at her blankly. My mind couldn’t process what was happening. Why was SuYin here?

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Mei! What the hell did you do to her?”

I dropped my head and slowly shook it. “It wasn’t me. Her blessing drove her to suicide for some reason. I still don’t understand it.”

SuYin moved faster than I could see. She appeared directly in front of me and slapped me across the face. The strike was so powerful it knocked me off my feet.

I looked at SuYin with wide eyes. She had to be at least a Peak Lord. My thoughts began to wonder if there was something here that could prove useful, but before they could think too much, SuYin snapped me back to the present.

“Don’t you dare say that,” she snarled. “You think I don’t know what’s been going on?”

She reached into a storage bag, pulled out a stack of letters, and slammed them down on my workbench, nearly cracking it in half.

“Mei sent me letters. She told me how you’ve been treating her. Don’t you dare say it was her blessing that forced anything.”

I stared at the stack of letters. Without looking at SuYin, I picked the top one off the stack. The letter was smudged and tear-stained. The writing was barely legible.

————

Yinyin,

I need to talk to someone, and I don’t know who else can understand.

I just met with Fang. He— The way he talked— It’s like he didn’t see me as a human. He spoke about me like I was only a puppet being played with by my blessing.

He— He did something to me. He took away the voices. Whenever I look at him, everything is silent now. I don’t know what to do. When I look at him, my emotions overwhelm me. It’s like everything the voices have been suppressing is released all at once. The feeling is terrifying.

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After that, he just left. I— I don’t think he wants to talk to me anymore. I don’t know what to do. Please, I don’t know if you can come here, but please write. I need a friend.

-Mei

————

I picked up the next letter in the stack.

————

Yinyin,

It’s been a year and Fang still hasn’t contacted me. I don’t know what’s going on. I tried to send him messages, but I haven’t heard anything from him. I don’t know if he isn’t getting them, simply not responding, or just choosing to not even read them.

I can’t leave the city to go find him. I’m barely keeping things together here. I don’t know what to do.

————

Yinyin,

I finally saw Fang again today. It was at the selection for my husband, and he decided to participate, but I was too terrified to look at him. If I did, and the voices disappeared again, I would have broken down in front of everyone.

There were a few other guys in the final selection, and I tried to use them to get a better understanding of the situation, but it didn’t help. It’s so frustrating not knowing how to act around him. I don’t know what I should do.

Because of this damn ceremony, we’re going to be husband and wife now and I haven’t even spoken to him for over a decade. I can’t help but be afraid of being alone with him, but maybe if we can just talk to each other, if we can reconnect…

————

I flipped through the stack and picked up the last envelope.

————

Yinyin,

I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I think he is as afraid of talking with me as I am of talking with him.

It’s my last day as his Flower, and after this, I won’t serve any purpose any longer. I think he will cut me loose. I don’t know what to do. Thanks to his gifts, I can live another 400 years, but what is the point? Why live so long when there is nothing more to do?

I’ve decided to be his wife for the rest of my life, and there’s only one way that can happen.

Take care, Yinyin. I hope you have a happy life.

-Mei

————

I stared at the letters as thoughts raced through my mind.

The entire time I was reading, SuYin stood over me, glaring down at me.

“What voices?” I asked. I had never heard Mei talk about any voices.

“Did you ever even talk to your wife?” she exploded. “Mei\'s ‘blessing’ was a stream of incessant voices in her head that she couldn’t understand. They constantly suppressed her emotions, even when alone. Her feelings existed, and she knew what they were, but those feelings were blocked from affecting her body. When she looked at someone, some of the voices would get louder, pulling and tugging at her thoughts and emotions to give her information about how to behave.”

Slumped on the floor, I thought about everything I knew about Mei and tried to match it with what I had just read.

My thoughts began trying to find ways to use this new knowledge to accomplish my goals, but the mechanics of how her blessing operated wouldn’t make much difference. These revelations provided little to help me acquire the fire seed.

I began to feel

that having Mei with me would be a benefit to my pursuits, though. If I were to go back to the beginning, I could start over and bring her along to help me.

Those feelings made me realize something.

“I was wrong. Even when she was alone, her damn blessing was controlling her. It could even get her to write these things,” I muttered. “It’s still trying to manipulate me.”

SuYin kicked me in the side of the head and left me sprawled on the floor.

She took a storage bag from her waist and threw it at my chest.

“Mei told me what you were doing. This is what she wanted me to give you. We’re done. Never contact me again.”

Before I could respond, SuYin stormed out of the workshop.

I felt I should chase after her, but I knew I shouldn’t. There was nothing I could say. SuYin was just…

I slowly bent my body to sit up. I ran my hands through my hair to calm down.

SuYin had been affected by Mei, she had to be. She and Mei spent a lot of time training together back when we were in the Pavilion, and SuYin never forgot anything. Every little thing Mei was forced to do would have left an impression on her.

I breathed out. My thoughts took a firm hold over my body, making me focus on what was important, granting me a moment of clarity. I needed to work harder to get the fire seed.

Tears began to stream down my cheeks, but my body paid them no attention. It began categorizing the contents of the storage bag. From what SuYin had said, it contained things Mei’s blessing thought I needed, so it should at least be helpful with what I needed to do in Brilliant Sun. I couldn’t trust her blessing, but I would accept its help.

Inside the bag was a wealth of technique manuals. The highlight was a set of Mid-Earth wood qi cultivation techniques for the Warrior tier. Aside from that, all the other manuals seemed to be basic techniques that were useful for growing low-level herbs.

When I set up an herb farm in Brilliant Sun, these would indeed be extremely useful.

The bag also contained a few assorted seeds that I didn’t recognize. With no idea how to use them, I tossed them in my storage space since they were small enough to fit and might be something I would want to hang onto after death.

I quickly read through all the manuals, storing the information in my mental library. After that, it was time to decide where to go from here. For the first time since Mei’s death, my body and soul began to work together to plot out how I should proceed.

My thoughts wanted me to stay the course. Living in the Eight Flower Kingdom was safe, especially if I stayed within the Blue Wind Pavilion buildings. There would be no worrying about surviving until the Formation Emperor died, and after that, I would be able to gain a wealth of knowledge that would help me snatch it in my next life.

My feelings argued against this. There was no way I could know what would happen in a hundred years. Better to go to Brilliant now and begin establishing a foundation. If I acted quickly enough, it was even possible I would be able to grab the seed in this life, saving a significant amount of time. I needed to hurry. If I tried to be too safe, I might miss something important.

I thought that made a lot of sense. My goal was to get the seed as quickly as possible. Why was I so set on waiting until my next life? I needed to get it sooner. It was more dangerous, but I wouldn’t be losing much if I failed. I decided risking a couple of decades to save a century was a good bet.

However, before I rushed to Brilliant Sun, both my thoughts and feelings agreed there was something I needed to accomplish first. Making a journey that had a high chance of my death meant I needed to prepare for a restart, and of all my possessions, the one I was most hesitant to lose was Emperor Li’s book. Before I died, I needed to try and save as much of it as I could.

I tried several tricks to smuggle information into my mental library, such as copying slightly incorrect information or storing only mnemonics, but nothing worked. Anything that would help me access Rank 4 information was banned from the library. So, I had no other option but to try and memorize it the old-fashioned way.

I chose which parts of the book to memorize carefully. Some of it was simplistic information I had already advanced beyond. While basic information would be useful to have as reference material, it wasn’t critical. Some parts were at a level far beyond what I had reached, and I could barely understand them. These parts were also discarded since they would be too difficult to memorize. I focused only on the sections that discussed topics slightly more advanced than my current level and memorized them to the best of my ability.

In the end, I spent over two years this way. The focus on my studies over these years caused the memory of SuYin’s visit to fade. I could think about it later, after my mission was complete.