YM778.TV Chapter 368: 368: Bringing His Ashes Home_1
“That child, I’ve never seen him in such agony. He said… a great fire took everything from him, his wife, his children. He said he must have been punished for not avenging the Gu Family. He said life had no meaning left for him and that all he had was his quest for revenge.”
“Alas, when he spoke those words, I felt it. He didn’t want to live… No matter how long I persuaded him, it was meaningless; he wouldn’t listen to a single word. He’s just like his father, very stubborn. Fixated on his own ideas, and also because he loved that girl too much.”
“Alas, this is his tribulation! I knew he wouldn’t get through this. Well, it’s better this way; living was suffering for him. May Buddha bless him, may he rest in the Pure Land of Bliss.”
Gu Xinlan choked up throughout these last words.
As if each word was extremely difficult to say.
I felt something cold sliding down my cheek, and when I reached up to wipe it, I realized it was a tear.
After that, a long silence followed.
Having said all that, Gu Xinlan seemed to have exhausted all her strength.
She stopped talking and closed her eyes, beating the wooden fish with one hand and fingering the Buddha Beads with the other.
The rain continued, the dampness spreading through the valley.
I felt as if I was living in a dream.
I don’t know how long I stood there, but then I heard a knock on the door. Turning around, I saw the figure of Shen Yishu at the doorway.
He didn’t come in but gestured to me.
“It’s getting late, we should go back!”
Only then did I notice that dusk had fallen.
I indeed wanted to stay a bit longer, but it didn’t seem right to continue disturbing her tranquility.
So, I got up…
“It’s getting late, I won’t disturb your spiritual practice any more, please take care.”
I said this, but she kept her head down, beating the wooden fish, showing no reaction.
Just as I was about to push the door open and leave, she suddenly called out to me.
“Benefactor… please wait!”
I halted my steps and looked at her.
I saw her rise and from a cabinet, she took out an item wrapped in white cloth.
She walked up to me, trembling.
“Before Yuanzhou was executed, he left me a letter. He said if your time comes, to entrust his ashes to you for handling…”
I stared at her in shock, not expecting that after so much time, his ashes still had not been buried. I was so stunned that I couldn’t bring myself to reach out and take them,
“You should bury him, it’s not appropriate for me to handle it.”
“This was his last wish. He said… he wanted to be buried together with his deceased wife, not wanting to lie alone in the wilderness after death. He said that while he was alive, he especially longed for the warmth of a family. Now that he’s gone, he hopes to be with his family.”
Gu Xinlan’s words almost made me lose my composure.
Is that truly what he wanted?
I remembered how, no matter how tired or busy he was with work, he’d always make time to drive the kids and me camping, pick fruits, or go on beach vacations, building sandcastles with the children.
He seemed to really enjoy those moments with the kids.
I was suddenly reminded of the children’s toys he kept in his office drawer, and I felt suffocated.
My heart contracted sharply, as if I was about to faint.
It was Shen Yishu who reached out to support me, allowing me to sit down on a chair for a while.
“Are you okay?”
Shen Yishu brought me a cup of warm water.
With one hand over my heart, I struggled not to lose control.
“I’m fine, I’ll be okay.”
Several minutes later, I left the mourning hall.
Cradling the urn in my hands…
Thinking of Gu Yuanzhou’s six-foot-tall frame, his body weighing over a hundred pounds, now reduced to such lightness in my hands.
I truly couldn’t believe it.
I can’t accept this!
But this is him!
The rain kept falling, and I stumbled downhill with the urn in my hands.
People say it’s easy to go up a hill, but hard to come down.
For me, going up was hard, but coming down was even harder.
My legs were weak and numb, and I nearly fell after only a few steps.
Fortunately, Shen Yishu was there to support me the whole time, otherwise I would have rolled down the slope long ago.
Even so, by the time we reached the foot of the hill, I was covered in mud and utterly disheveled.
After getting into the car, Shen Yishu asked me,
“To the cemetery?”
His question actually stumped me.
I definitely couldn’t take this urn back to Xishan Residence, as that was the Ding Family’s place.
As for the public cemetery…
This is indeed the choice of most people.
If it had been before, I would most likely have sent him to that place.
But now, after learning the whole truth, how could I bear to do that?
How could I abandon him all alone in such a desolate place?
After a long while, I finally said heavily,
“To Beilu Hill, please!”
“Okay!”
Shen Yishu turned the steering wheel.
The rain was still falling, and the windshield wipers kept sweeping back and forth.
The whole world seemed to be immersed in sadness.
Watching the landscape flash by outside the window, I saw my own reflection in the reflection on the glass.
Underneath the disheveled hair was a lifeless face, even the eyes had lost their luster, all muddied and stuck together.
Did that look like a living person?
It was clearly a walking corpse.
“Ah, Xiaoyun… I don’t know what to say, I’m not good at this kind of thing, I’m not much for comforting people… but, the dead have passed away, and the living must carry on, right?”
The truth about what happened between Gu Yuanzhou and me was only known to those close to me.
Like Wenya, Jian Jing, and Ding Yinuo…
Because Shen Yishu was much younger, I had never considered him to be one of my ‘close friends’.
So, to this day, I had never told him that I was actually Gu Yuanzhou’s deceased wife…
But as sharp as he was.
Even though he never asked about it directly, I could vaguely sense that he might know something.
I pointed ahead, “We’re here!”
He slowed down and stopped the car at the gate.
He got out first, opened an umbrella, then opened the passenger door and helped me out.
I had been to this place countless times.
But never had I felt as heavy-hearted as I did now.
I had thought that this Yin Mansion was bought by Gu Yuanzhou for me and our child.
But now it seemed, it was for our whole family…
Yes, if what Gu Xinlan said was true, he had been prepared to die from the very beginning.
That’s why he had the Yin Mansion decorated to resemble our old home in Golden Bay.
This thought made my heart even heavier.
After opening the door, I placed his urn on the altar.
Shen Yishu sat beside it for a long time, and he seemed to pick up on my sorrow, “If you’re feeling upset, just cry it out. My shoulder is here for you to lean on.”