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Chapter 52 – All For Survival

There is an empty space in Levisia’s mindhall, littered by two feminine bodies. Merril and Levisia stood there enveloped by raging thoughts. To Merril’s face, and within a couple of seconds, Levisia shook her head in squeamishness. Like the rage from the blue oceans, her heart was subconscious. Merril has said too much, Levisia confessed. Merril’s eyes were bitter, her words were coarse too. Levisia didn’t have a course to get angry because she had become a worthless, terrible person, even to Merril. Anger wasn’t the right emotion to pull up for Merril since she didn’t feel it from the onset after all.

Look, even after all that, your flat reaction is just―”, Merril flattered.

“Hmm?” Levisia sounded in anxiety.

“Wow, you’re so cute,” Merril complimented.

‘What is the deal with this person?’ Levisia thought.

Merril looked at Levisia frankly. She tried not to let her words come out comical, not by one bit. “So you’re telling the truth right now?” Merril asked rhetorically.

Levisia was afraid. To her, it was a good idea to avoid people with dangerous preferences.

“It’s ridiculous when you get angry over petty things, but you’re a bit unique,” Merril stressed further. Merril’s words meant that she thinks Levisia is cute, and it is amazing that a bug doesn’t flinch even if it is stepped on, right? Merril’s liking was suspicious. Who would think that an unflinching bug is cute?

Whatever Merril thought of Levisia, the latter found it absurd. It was clear that she knew her words were shabby.

‘Even so, all I can do is…’ Levisia rendered. ‘Nothing. Yep. For sure.’

If Merril merely became a bully, Levisia would most likely stay in her confines. But if Merril interferes further with her life, she would turn a new leaf henceforward.

‘Just be a bug for a moment. If someone asks me if I don’t have the guts, I will just nod in affirmation. I have to survive, whether I have the guts or not.’

If Levisia wouldn’t retaliate against anyone’s will, merely suppressing her breath and carrying on, there’s nothing more she can hope for. Why would she egg her on? Levisia shut her mouth at the thought of that, but Merril who saw her reaction smiled furiously.

“Why stay quiet now… Have you no pride?”

Levisia merely muted after what seemed like a trance.

“You’re just gonna lie flat and avoid the moment?” Merril added.

Levisia thought her smile was chilly, and she guessed that’s what it meant; that up until now Merril has been irritating her.

‘All that talk about you liking me and calling me cute was for this?’

Levisia bore a face that showed her suspicions. She felt this way when Merril picked on her with those ridiculous words, but what a disgusting hobby. What was she going to do when she saw her reaction?

Levisia rubbed her wrists and caught Merril’s eyes. “If you deliberately irritate me, you won’t get anything out of it,” she said.

Even if Levisia knew what Merril wanted, she wouldn’t get anything from her. Why? Because she doesn’t have anything to her name. If someone who possesses everything even slightly brushes shoulders with a person who has nothing, all they get is the title of a bully.

‘Proud enough as she is, I don’t think she’ll hit me,’ Levisia thought.

But Merril kept a strange face when she heard that. With a girl-with-a-cold-heart kind of smile, she said:

“What? Either way, I’m not gonna hit you.” Merril said almost defensively, “I’m just kidding, a joke is what it is.”

At this point, Levisia thought she would boil up and just spit out anything. Everything else she said in the past spurred out just that way. Which part of Merril was truthful and which was an act? Frustration welled up within Levisia, causing her to stop talking. Then, Merril began to speak about something Levisia never demanded an answer for, not from her.

“I don’t like the kind of people who lose their heads because they’ve heard something they don’t want to hear. Seeing you now, you don’t seem like that type,” she started off.

Even that didn’t sound like it came from her heart. After thinking for a while, Levisia decided which facade of Merril was real. The contempt she showed at that moment was clearly sincere.

“And I can see why those three are all over you,” she teased, “Nelle. Being near you makes me feel the same way as holding Nelle in my hand.” Merril blurted in a sympathetic tone after a sniff. She was holding onto something, that which she fisted tightly to keep Levisia guessing.

“What in the world does that feel like?” Levisia questioned as soon as Merril rounded her explanation.

“That feeling of being full of power. Something like being confident that I can turn this area into a sea of water in a flick.”

“Wasn’t that example a bit extreme?” Levisia inquired in a quiver. When she unknowingly was about to step back, Merril uttered incoherently and opened her hands wide as if she didn’t mean that.

“This is what I’m talking about. You may have seen it earlier, but it was impossible to use a lot of energy at the fairy fest. Putting out Siaphyl’s fire took a lot of energy. Well, a fire has no power when faced with water, ha!” Merril prided on being a great exploiter of her strength, always feeling like she made herself so. With a big smile, she stretched her hand out to Levisia. It seemed like she wanted a shake. “Anyway, just like those three, I like you, too. I like it especially when you call my name,” Merril added.

When Levisia was pondering over accepting the shake, Merril said something she found really hard to take in.

“I’ll help you with your training,” she offered.

“Excuse me…?” Levisia stood frozen, blinking her eyes. What training was she talking about?

Then with one hand, Merril swung her sword lightly and said, “I mean so you can wield it well, like this. Because I don’t like having weaklings by my side. If you lack innate strength, all you have to do is work on increasing your body strength. Of course, I’m good at both.”

Like raindrops on a budding flower, Levisia fell in a trance. Her brain was joggled in the lot of trying to fathom Merril’s long talk. Worries amassed like migraine in her head. Then, she didn’t need to be by her side. What was the point?

Lev couldn’t bear any more of this, so she had to speak up. “So then you don’t really need me by your side?”

“What?” Merril reacted as if she had heard a funny joke.

‘Why did she act like I did something hilarious? Wait, she’s being for real?’

“Hearing you say that, I really want you by my side now,” she rogued. “Were you in the same department as Elivet…?” Merril grabbed Levisia’s hand and shook it up and down seeing that she had frozen in dismay.

“You, you’re funny. You’ve got a knack for making people laugh,” Levisia stammered.

“Let’s meet more often, girl. That was quite an unwelcome compliment,” Merril soft-toned these words into her ears.

“Can’t we just go back to not knowing each other?”

Tucked in a world so small, Levisia found her way home. Her mind was in a race, one that would only come to an end if she can do away with the thoughts about Merril. The sensation, thought arrests and uncalled gestures almost knocked her out.