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Chapter 60 – Beyond Doubt

Pel’s mind has been conflicted ever since the truth came out. As he left the palace with Princess Levisia, his feelings worsened as he struggled with the inner clash burning within him.

“But you’re with me,” said Levisia, turning around to look at him with such calm expression. She walked ahead of him oblivious of the impact of her words to Pel. Bewildered, Pel thought that she heard her wrong.

“That’s all I need.”  Levisia continued, undoing his initial suspicion. Yes, he heard her, but that didn’t mean he understood.

‘What in the world was she thinking saying such…’

At odds with his own thoughts and feelings which he couldn’t trust nowadays, Pel, who always poises himself stiffly, regardless of the circumstances, opened his mouth thoughtlessly and said, “What does that… ah… never mind.” Fumbling with his words, Pel struggled to express his thoughts. He quietly castigated himself and shook his head in hopes of bringing himself to his right senses.

“Let’s just go,” he said casually, yet her words are still burning inside him, making him flushed. He walked ahead of Levisia in haste, avoiding her curious gaze. Time, a little bit of it, is enough to calm him down, like it always does.

Not today though.

Pel held on to Levisia, giving her a hand as they were climbing up the steep hill. Yet he wanted more of her, to hold her tighter in his arms if permitted. She then slipped off from his grip before he could even calm himself.

“Wow,” said a small voice in admiration.

Pel saw Levisia from below him and he lost his temper at her unconcerned reaction with what happened. He failed to catch her as she sled down the slope. This frustrated Pel, that he could no longer control his muttering.

“You’re not even listening…”

It was true, for Levisia’s focus was set on the scene going on the bottom of the hill. What the girl was seeing must be distractingly stunning.

“What is this place?”

Seeing that Levisia seemed to like what she’s seeing gave Pel some form of relief in spite of himself. After much contemplation, he asked,  “I guess you like it here, huh?”

Levisia’s expression was enough of an answer. She fell in love with the beauty of the place.  He could tell because her face, that had been sinking into a deep foreboding shadow from time to time, suddenly brightened up.

“Yep,” was her belated reply after taking in the view from the top. Pel, as if charmed by the sound of her voice, inadvertently turned and gazed at her.

The princess’ clear green eyes seem to turn into twinkling orange as they dance with the street lights below. When the scarlet stream of light brushed her white face, she blushed in its warmth. A soft smile spread slowly, very slowly across her face.

“I like it.”

With Levisia’s twinkling eyes beaming straight ahead, Pel knew that she wanted him to know exactly how she feels.

‘Then why…’

Knowing how she felt made his once wandering heart fluttered. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Levisia, who was, in turn, captivated by the view. Pel, as if bewitched, was mesmerized by the slightly raised corners of Levisia’s mouth.

‘You’re possessed,’ he thought, ‘Who? Me? Or Levisia at that view?’

Arguing with himself silently, he was caught off guard when Levisia suddenly turned to look at him. He shook his head forcefully, as if waking himself up from a fantasy such burning gaze offered. He was only able to breathe when Levisia’s enchanting eyes turned elsewhere.

“Let’s leave soon.” Levisia said promptly, bending her knees and plopping down the ground as if it was a natural thing to do. Pel discreetly snuck a peek at the princess whose hand was now on her chin as she was comfortably tottering on the ground.

“How long has it been since you came here last?”

“More than three months.”

“Then look at that view, not me. You don’t know when you’ll be able to see it again.”

Pel, who was embarrassed by her rebuke, opened his eyes wide and attempted to deny it.

“W-who says I was looking at you?”

“Or not.”

Again. Again her nonchalance was giving him a whiplash, colliding all his senses that confuses him in such a way… Then, he is there again, the very thing he tried to refute, as his eyes fell back again on Levisia.  His powerlessness to avoid her was pitiful.

‘That face again…’

She was calm this time, neither smiling nor frowning; her expression quite difficult to read.  Even the scarlet color on her face that gave warmth to her appearance seemed to lose its appeal.

Mystified, Pel wondered what is on Levisia’s mind to make her look like that. For the first time since coming here, his focus was not on his own thoughts and feelings but that of the princess’.

“Your face… What’s wrong?”  He couldn’t bear such grim look on her adorable face anymore that he finally spoke to break her reverie.

“What about my face?” Levisia asked, equally puzzled.

“Is something wrong with you? It’s like you’re hurt.”

She sighed deeply, “I’m just thinking about something that’s giving me a headache.”

“You were fine earlier, but now you’re in a fickle.”

“How about you?”

Pel need not ask for clarification of such question. He very much knew what she meant.  Knowing and answering though are two different things. Why? Because not once has this place ever…

“You like it here, too?” Her voice was pleasant now, much like when he heard her a while back, when she expressed her delight with the place.

Pel’s adam’s apple now bobbed, as if controlling himself not to speak, yet after a short bout of silence, he finally spoke his cluttered thoughts.

“Not really.”

Levisia was silent.

“But I think I’m going to like it from now on.”

After saying it, Pel found that he meant every single world he uttered. Being with Levisia in this place together, the place was now growing on him and becoming more and more memorable as time passed by.

‘What was I thinking?’ Shocked by his own admission and tact, he abruptly changed the subject and told Levisia that it was time for them to go down. The princess got up quickly without protest. As she did, her hood was slightly blown down by the wind. Pel was quick to reach out for it, angling him directly to her line of sight. As their eyes met, his feeling was no longer deniable.

‘You’ve changed, Levisia,’ he thought, ‘It’s clear that you’ve been so busy avoiding me.’