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Chapter 189: Acceptance

ELIA

Two hours later, they were both dressed and quiet. She sat, cross-legged in the grass just back from the cliff-edge, looking out over the beauty of the WildWood, from the safety of distance.

The metaphor that offered for her current situation was not lost on her.

Reth paced the grass behind her, muttering to himself. She\'d watched him for a while, but he said he was practicing his words for when they spoke to the people. All she heard were tortured grunts, and muttered curses.

Hearing his frustration only fed the fires of anger inside her, so she\'d turned away.

Because as she\'d sat there, first feeling sorry for herself, then for Reth, it had occurred to her: Neither of them was really to blame for this.

The elders were the ones who should be ashamed.

They\'d allowed themselves to be manipulated by Lucan. They\'d fallen for the trap that the wolves had set and been trying to spring since the moment she arrived in Anima.

And now, even with Lucan dead, everything was at risk.

She muttered a curse of her own and Reth turned towards her. "What\'s wrong, Love?"

"I\'m furious with Aymora, and Brant, and all of them. I can\'t believe they didn\'t take any of the circumstances into account—how were you ever supposed to anticipate me coming here? How were you supposed to expect that Lucine wouldn\'t win?"

She turned around on her butt as his footsteps approached. He stopped on the grass just before her, hands on his fists. "They did the right thing, Love. They did what I would have done if I\'d been in their shoes."

"How can you say that when you know what you did—and didn\'t do. And what I did? Everything I didn\'t know? It\'s not fair!"

"Life isn\'t fair. Ever," he said softly. "It\'s why we teach our young to learn to accept what they cannot change."

"But you could change this! You\'re the King! You could tell them they can\'t—"

"No, Elia. You spoke of it earlier… there is a balance to the mind. Changing the rules by which we live does not change right from wrong."

"But—"

He dropped to kneel in front of her, his elbows on his knees, his eyes kind, but tired. "Love, our focus can\'t be on what has already passed. The judgment has been called. Our time is almost done. We have to face the people now."

"I don\'t know how you can say that so calmly when… when you might be dead in a few hours!" She covered her mouth at the words, eyes wide with shock. She hadn\'t said it before. Hadn\'t even wanted to think it. But saying it out loud made it suddenly feel real.

But Reth reached for her hand, tugging it gently away from her face, and holding her hand in his massive one.

"Brant and the others made the right judgment," he said softly. "But I pray the people will see it differently. And if they do, that will also be the right judgment. And we will be free, then. No more shadows. No more regrets. It will all be in the light. Nothing to worry about."

She swallowed hard. "But what if they don\'t?" she croaked. "What if they choose Lucine for you? Or… or worse?"

"We will figure it out. And we will live through whatever comes."

"Unless you\'re dead."

He snorted the air from his nose—not at her, she knew, but at the idea. "I do not think we should focus on that. I think we should focus on the best way to win the people to our way of seeing this."

She was about to argue, but when he met her eyes, and his own were pleading, she realized she was making him carry everything—not just the stress and fear of losing everything, but also her anger, her fear, as well.

In that moment she realized how unfair she was being. She pushed her shoulders back and nodded, vowing to herself to share his burden, instead of forcing him to carry hers. "Tell me what I can do—how it works. What the rules are. Teach me, Reth, so I make it better, not worse."

He took a deep breath, then let himself drop to sit in front of her, his legs crossed to, scooting forward so their knees touched.

"The structure is the same as what we went through with the elders. Brant will read the charges, then begin to ask questions. The people will listen, and will be free to ask their own questions, and make their own statements. If people believe they have information that is important, they\'ll be invited to come forward and speak what they know. Then, when there are no more testimonies to be heard, the judgment will be called by vote. Whichever course has the most support, that will be the way… everyone will go." He swallowed.

Elia put a hand on his knee. "What do I need to do?"

Reth rolled his head on his shoulders. "You can\'t interrupt anyone. At all. It\'s seen as interfering, or trying to deceive. Don\'t do it, even if what you need to say is important. If no one asks you the right questions, when you do have a chance to speak, ask for permission to speak further. But regardless, never speak when a witness is speaking, unless they ask you a question."

"Mouth shut," she said through a sigh. "Got it."

"You cannot stand in defense of me," he said carefully.

She frowned. "But… everything I have to say will defend you!"

"That is testimony. That\'s fine. Speak the truth. But… if anyone threatens, or… or judgment is called against me, you cannot stand in defense of me. You cannot put yourself between me and justice."

"Why not?! You did it for me with Lucan!"

"That was different. Lucan wasn\'t enacting the Tribe\'s justice. He was trying to thwart it. To make his own. If someone attacks outside of what is allowed by the elders, we can all defend ourselves. Behryn and I spoke at length last night about how we would handle this—and the variety of ways that it might play out. If you find yourself under attack, go to him or his men. They\'ll be with us on the stage. Follow his orders—no matter what, Elia. Do you hear me? Even if it seems that I am in danger, you do as Behryn tells you."

She stared at him for a long moment and was about to ask, when he suddenly continued.

"But the truth is, we may not need to even consider what to do in those circumstances. My clever mate has raised a very valid point that I will raise to the people if they look like supporting Lucine for Queen. It may be that we can walk out of this together and unhurt—and both still ruling. That is my prayer."

"I need you to tell me the other ways it could go, though, Reth," Elia forced herself to say, though her voice was quiet. "I need to know what it will look like if it\'s going wrong and it looks like they\'ll choose Lucine. Or… worse…"

Reth sighed and twined their fingers, his eyes on her hand. "Very well," he said with a sigh.

*****

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