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Chapter 233: Decided

ELIA

Reth stared down at the table for a moment. Everyone was quiet. "If that\'s all," he said finally, his voice deep and dark, and far too quiet. "Then all that is left is for our Guardians to make their vows."

Candace and Gahrye both nodded. Elia sat back in her chair, wondering what intricate, Anima tradition this would be. These people had so much about them that was ancient and intriguing.

Shit. She was going to miss this place almost as much as she was going to miss Reth.

"Do you have blades?" Reth asked in that rumble she loved. Then she blinked. Blades?

"What do you—"

"Yes," Gahrye and Candace both said, each reaching in their robes. Gahrye revealed a wicked knife that made Elia\'s mouth drop open. Why was he carrying that? Candace flicked out a much smaller knife that looked more like a tool. But the blade gleamed as she put it on the table in front of her.

Reth nodded. "You know the tradition?"

"Yes," they both answered.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Elia asked hurriedly.

"Blood vows are binding," Reth said darkly, his eyes on Gahrye. "They tie our souls to our word. I will not leave you in the hands of anyone who hasn\'t given it."

"I thought it was a vow? Why do we need knives?"

Reth raised an eyebrow at Gahrye, who—eyes locked with Reth\'s—picked up the knife he\'d laid down, and without any warning, slid it against his palm.

Elia squeaked, but he held the cut hand in a fist and leaned forward, speaking as his blood began to patter to the tabletop. "My blood to seal the covenant. My life for hers. My life for hers. My breath for hers. In danger I stand in her stead. In comfort, she takes the first seat. My life is hers to call. My death, hers to require—or yours if I fail."

Before Elia could react, Reth looked at Candace, who sliced her palm, too, then echoed his words.

Then Reth drew his own knife and before she could stop him, cut himself, offering his bloodied hand in a clasp first to Gahrye, then to Candace, both times reciting. "As you have said, so it shall be. You have my honor in victory, and in death. In failure, you earn my wrath. May the Creator watch over you and guide your steps."

And they both thanked him.

They thanked him.

"What the hell?" Elia gaped at them all. But everyone else at the table looked at her like she was the strange one. "I don\'t need people bleeding for me!"

"Well, we could have undergone a naked fire rite instead, but I guessed this would be your preference," Reth muttered.

Elia swallowed her protests.

At least his eyes were twinkling.

But a moment later, he sighed. "That is it. We are decided. Elia is healing well. So, tomorrow we\'ll go to the Traverse. Behryn, put it about the soldiers and merchants that we are going to meet the Bears in the morning. To the east. Collect some honey and fish and tell them that it\'s a peace offering because I missed the earlier meeting."

"Consider it done."

"Gahrye and Candace, you may do whatever is needed to prepare, but I\'m afraid you can\'t make it clear to anyone that you\'re leaving indefinitely. Tell anyone you feel you need to farewell that you\'re joining us for the trip to the Bears, to assist Elia. That I\'m too scared to leave the city without her. If we do have any spies, perhaps we\'ll draw the wolves out. I know they will be watching. Behryn, send out every forward scout and position the guards we would normally use for the journey on the task, as if it were real."

"Yes."

Elia put a hand to his leg under the table and was shocked to discover Reth, who looked and sounded so calm, was trembling. She tried not to draw attention to it as he continued assigning tasks and giving orders. She got to her feet and circled the table to hug Gahrye and Candace as they set out, then Brant and Aymora, who both left with whispered reassurances that they\'d see her later. Then, all but Behryn were gone. She was standing behind her mate\'s best friend when she turned to look at Reth.

He hunched over the table, his hands clenched to fists, his mouth tight. He and Behryn stared at each other, and she wondered what they saw in each other\'s eyes after all these years.

"You\'re doing the right thing," Behryn said slowly. "Don\'t doubt."

Reth nodded. "Will you be able to come with us to the Traverse tomorrow?"

"Yes. I\'ll put Hern on the horn. It would be usual for me to join you for the Bears. No one will think twice about it."

Reth nodded again, and his throat bobbed. Then he looked at her and the pain in his gaze stole her breath. She was suddenly trembling too and sick to her stomach.

How could she possibly say goodbye to him tomorrow?

"I\'ll leave you two to… pack," Behryn said, and his lips only twitched once. Elia hugged him when he got out of his chair, and Reth got up to clasp his arm and thump him on the back, then walked him to the door.

She left them to talk and waited for Reth to return, her eyes skating all over the cave—from the wall where he\'d pinned her that very first night, to the lounger where she\'d laid the sheepskin, to the table where they\'d—

Around the corner, the door to the cave closed, and the beam to lock it thudded into place as Reth dropped it into the braces. He appeared a few seconds later, his shoulders slumped and chin down, running his hand through his hair, then finding her eyes with his own from behind the scattered strands of hair that he hadn\'t tied back that morning.

He halted oddly, and Elia frowned. "Reth? What\'s wrong?" she started towards him as he stumbled to one of the thick chairs in the living room and dropped into it, his head in his hands. "Reth?!"

She ran across the cave. But when she reached him, he only opened his arms and pulled her into his lap, shushing her, and pulling her tight against his chest.

His entire body shivered, his chest rising and falling like a bellows. Elia, panicked, clung to his neck. "Reth, what\'s wrong?"

"What\'s wrong?" he rasped, his lips against her temple, his hands shaking as they played through her hair. "What\'s wrong is that I\'m planning to leave you. I am organizing your isolation in the human world. I am… Elia… I don\'t think I\'m strong enough to say goodbye to you."

She didn\'t know what to say. Because she didn\'t feel strong enough either. She felt like her heart was being ripped in two different directions. But she was always the one crying, or losing, or needing to learn. Here he was, her beautiful mate, falling apart.

She needed to be the strong one right now.

She pulled far enough back to meet his eyes and put both hands to his jaw, forcing him to meet her eyes. "You are strong enough, Reth. And so am I. I cannot think of anything harder in this world unless you were to be killed. So we will do this because it makes us both safer. And then we\'ll be together after that, and we\'ll never leave again," she whispered.

He nodded, and she dropped a featherlight kiss on his lips. He clung, his fingers in her hair. But there was nothing of heat in the kiss. Only desperation.