3D肉蒲团之极乐宝鉴

Dave looked around and saw a group of three adventurers fighting some Skeleton Elites. Surprisingly, he recognized them.

A hunter, a tank, and a priest, named Perfect Shot, Human Fortress, and...Pussy Flanker.

Dave laughed again when he saw the vulgar name, ironically belonging to the priest.

Perfect Shot was the highest level at 45 and the other two were level 42s. They were in the lower range of levels. Not a threat to him at all and worth very little EXP, indifferent, he moved on, ignoring their presence.

The Terribly Named Trio’s reactions were quite the opposite.

"Shit. It’s him!" Human Fortress pointed, "Hurry! Contact the guild!"

Dave’s brows furrowed and his mouth twisted scornfully.

"Yeah, you do that. Call your guild-daddies so they can come wipe your nose and take the golden ticket right out of your hand. You really are pathetic." Dave’s laughter resonated from the dark hollows of his skull and ribs.

"Let’s make a deal. I will take all three of you on alone. I won’t even use my minions." Dave taunted the three.

"No fucking way man!" said Human Fortress "We’re not stupid, you are higher level than us. And you’ll just attack with your minions anyway" cried out Human fortress as he backed away.

"I could just attack anyway." said Dave with a smile as two of his ghouls began flanking the three.

"Hold up!" said Perfect Shot "It’s a deal. We’ll take you on." he said

"There we go. A man...or woman, with guts. That’s what I like to see."

Dave willed the minions to back away.

"What are you doing?" asked Pussy Flanker. He looked around nervously, as the ten undead circled them.

"Do you have a better idea? He could have just attacked without warning. Even if he is up to something, it’s going to be 3v1. We should do it." said Perfect Shot, drinking a Dexterity potion.

"Shiiiit." said Human Fortress in resignation.

"At the very least we can post the fight on our feeds," said Pussy Flanker, "Imagine if we won. We’d get more pussy than we can handle!" A distant dreamy look appeared on his face.

The other two looked at him, pityingly.

Riiiight, because Conquest is known for the hot fangirls that flock to low-level newbs with 30 seconds of fame.

"Let’s do this, ’ladies.’ Whenever you are ready." said Dave raising his sword and shield.

Perfect shot moved a few meters back, and Pussy Flanker moved back and to the side.

Dave charged toward the priest. The basic strategy in a fight is to take down the healer first.

"[Anchor Hall]!" yelled Human fortress.

Dave snorted and ignored the taunt skill and kept moving toward the priest.

"You idiot! He’s a player, threat increasing skills don’t work on him!" said Perfect Shot as he shot [Binding Arrow] at Dave.

"Shit! I didn’t know!" said Human Fortress. Activating [Charge] to try to intercept Dave.

Dave met the tank with a perfectly timed [Rising Slash], the invincibility-frame negating the stun effect of [Charge]. Counter-striking with [Destructive Smash], Dave caught Human Fortress with a stun effect of his own.

"[Warrior’s Will]" shouted Human Fortress to remove the stun effect.

Dave smiled. That was the Tank’s only anti-control ability, and he used it too soon.

Dave chanted: "[Death grip]." The skill turned the tank to into a useless lump, unable to do anything for five seconds.

Dave took the opportunity to sprint at the priest, who started spamming healing spells at Dave.

[-268 HP]

The heal attacks didn’t do much thanks to Dave ’s high Magic Absorption.

"Oh shit!" Pussy Flanker cursed as Dave smacked him down with a [Twin Strike]-infused basic attack.

[-2300 HP]

The priest’s total HP was only about 6000. Dave’s attack removed over a third of it, his increased Stats were showing their benefit to his damage numbers.

Dave waved his hand and a red-glowing skull latched onto the priest. Then he turned away and activated [Stampede], attacking Perfect Shot.

The skull glowed with an eerie red light, latched onto the Priest’s shoulder without doing any noticeable damage. Although he didn’t know exactly what it might do to him, he was sure it would be nothing good. .

"[Breaking Shot]" The Hunter was trying to interrupt Dave’s charge.

The arrow attack only removed a few HP, Dave didn’t even flinch, and the hunter was out of time as [Stampede] struck him like a runaway train.

[-2890 HP]

That was about a half of the hunter’s hitpoints

[Stampede] could not be interrupted, though it could be stopped by something massive enough, like a brick wall.

.

"Hang on P.S., I’ll heal you up!" yelled Pussy Flanker, starting his skill cast.

Dave didn’t even look back at the healer, he just disappeared his sword into inventory, and snapped his fingers.

There was a bright red flash, and a booming sound echoed, the priest was thrown bodily through the air by the blast, healing interrupted and forgotten.

[-860 HP]

Dave re-summoned his weapon and unleashed a powerful slash attack at Perfect Shot.

[-700 HP]

"[Blink!]" and the Hunter appeared near the priest.

Though it seemed like longer only a few seconds had passed and the paralysis on Human Fortress was about to end.

Dave had used up a full rotation of skills and was almost out of skills, so he raised the Ring of The Ruined King, intoning"[Royal Decree]."

Two knights in golden armor appeared and charged at Pussy Flanker.

"THAT’S CHEATING!" accused Human Fortress, skill-pulling the aggro to lure the summoned ghost-knights away from the healer.

Dave had already caught up with Perfect Shot and was trading attacks him while Pussy Flanker tried to keep the hunter healed up.

"It’s a summon skill. I didn’t use any of my undead."

Dave stuck to Perfect Shot like a leech, bleeding away HP. Perfect Shot had already used up his gap winding skill, [Blink] and [Breaking Shot] so he couldn’t create distance between himself and Dave. .

"Damn, his Defense is too much!" Perfect Shot complained as his HP sank toward the critical threshold.

[+500 HP]

The green of healing numbers floated up as the spell took effect on Perfect Shot. But a higher value in red damage followed immediately offsetting the heal.

"You are getting annoying, your holiness," said Dave waving his hand again, and another Spectral Skull appeared.

"There’s that broken skull skill again!" said the priest.

Dave didn’t bother using it on the priest, his eyes glinted.

Boom!

[-600 HP]

He’d used the skill on Perfect Shot, staggering him, and Dave followed with [Twin Strike] just coming off its cooldown.

You have killed an invader.

+20 Contribution points.

"Awww, there goes the mighty hunter." mocked Dave, turning with a wide smile on his face.

"Shit...his guy is a beast..." said Pussy Flanker. He shuddered, remembering the skull blowing up in Perfect Shot’s face.

The damage Mr. Skeletal was dealing was monstrous, the party couldn’t block enough or heal fast enough.

"Let’s wrap things up shall we?" Dave moved forward in a relaxed deliberate manner as if just going about his daily business. Taking out the trash.

Fortress was bogged down with the two ghost knights.

"Shit! They hit like Mack trucks, and I’m not getting many of my own in. Good luck taking these fuckers down without a proper damage dealer."

Pussy Flanker was trying to get some distance from Dave to kite him. But Dave just shrugged off his attacks and kept advancing remorselessly.

"Shit, how much HP does he have?" grunted Pussy Flanker. His attacks were barely taking any HP from Mr. Skeletal.

The cooldown timer on [Stampede] zeroed, and Dave activated the skill intercepting the running priest. The priest sighed and finally gave up. But he went out with style.

He grinned cockily, and raised his arms, palms up, as if to say ’So what if I got pwned?’ "Hey, I get to brag that I fought the famous Mr. Skeletal." he said as his HP reached zero.

You have killed an invader.

+20 Contribution points.

"Ha! Pussy Flanker gets max ’Style Points.’ for that." said Dave.

Dave looked over to where Fortress and the two ghost knights were still in a scrum, the tank having a tough time of it.

Dave cast [Spectral Bomb] again, and sent it at Human Fortress.

The glowing skull drifted over to Human Fortress and attached to his back.

Dave dismissed the two ghost knights and looked at Human Fortress.

The tank was eyeing Dave warily, his HP critically low.

"That was a good fight." said Dave.

"Not really, we got our ass handed to us. Shit, you are strong."

"Ah, strength comes with levels bro. Ohh, looks like someone came to join the fight." said Dave looking at something beyond Human Fortress.

Human Fortress’ face brightened with hope, and he turned only to see a smiling red Skull right in his face, up close and personal.

"Heh, just a little white lie." said Dave, raising his hand fingers spread.

The last thing Human fortress heard was Dave’s finger-snap.

You have killed an invader.

+20 Contribution points.

"That was FUN. Okay, enough putzing around, I need to find another dungeon to add to my collection..." said Dave as he strode forward with his Undead platoon following him.