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It was honestly tempting to make a move on Rukiya, but just like Rukiya, Hawi figured that this wasn\'t the best time for the both of them. Then again, maybe they all just had to clear the air about everything and embrace each other, right?

But what was there to be cleared between the two of them?

"No Hawi, I just love you, so much it breaks my heart to see you in this state. Please don\'t push me away," Rukiya said softly as she watched Hawi.

She loved this woman so much it hurt her and wanted to reign in it. And at the same time, she also knew that Hawi wasn\'t the kind of woman she could force herself on, because she would end up with a lot of bruises and frankly, she wasn\'t on a mission to be broken.

"What if someday you\'re wrong about what you feel right now? What if it\'s because you just don\'t have a mate yet? What if all of this has to stop when you meet your mate? Then what, Ruru. What will I do then?

"What will we do then?" Hawi asked as she gently pulled Rukiya towards her.

Hawi could see the sincerity in Rukiya\'s eyes and she knew it was the kind that couldn\'t ever be faked. Having Rukiya this close to her made her feel like she could face anything in the world. She could go up against everyone and win. That much she was certain of.

"I never had a mate, Hawi. I never knew one was even possible, especially after what my father did. I haven\'t known what love is, for a long time, until the first time I saw you in the free lands woods, covered in banana leaves.

"At first, I thought it was because I\'d watched everyone have mates, and I hadn\'t met mine. I thought that maybe my loneliness was the reason I was attracted to you, the girl who didn\'t have a home to go back to.

"I thought maybe you were alone and I was alone, and that\'s what I wanted you so bad. But it\'s more than that, Hawi. I know you feel it too. This, us, it\'s different from the normal mate bonds," Rukiya said as she carefully leaned closer to Hawi.

"If that makes you uncomfortable then I can promise to never mention it again. I\'d hate to do anything that makes you feel like you don\'t have a choice. With me, you always have a choice, love.

"I want to see you happy and alive; free and without any worries and burdens. I want to—" Rukiya said and Hawi put a finger against Rukiya\'s lips, instantly shutting the woman up.

Hawi could see the turmoil and confusion in Rukiya\'s eyes and she could tell that there were already a hundred things going through her head at the moment. And Hawi wanted to clear them all, but she needed to take a stand too.

"I won\'t go anywhere, Ruru. I can\'t, even if I wanted to; because somehow, having you this close is addictive as hell. My daily routines usually consisted of me waking up, and planning murders, and while that is still my main objective, you found your way into my thoughts, Ruru.

"I think of you so randomly and imagine so many things with you. I know you took the blood oath, but I don\'t want you to love me because of some oath, because I certainly didn\'t love you because of that," Hawi said and Rukiya lifted her head to look at Hawi.

She was careful just like the other times but damn, hearing Hawi\'s words was now fucking with her. She wasn\'t sure if she had heard her well or this was Hawi just playing games with her again. Surely it couldn\'t be that, right? Hawi wasn\'t so cruel, no?

"What?" Rukiya mouthed, like she was scared it was all in her mind. But was it?

"You\'re mine, Ruru," Hawi said with a smile on her face while Rukiya was still staring at her with uncertainty.

There were times she was sure Hawi was only talking because of the pain or to change the subject, but for the last twenty minutes, they had stared at each other and breathed each other in, and all Hawi had done was think of the both of them.

It was strange to Rukiya but it was one that gave her hope.

Granted, Rukiya knew that with Hawi, hope was the worst that could happen.

However, just this once she was choosing to hope again because at the end of the day, the worst that could happen between the two of them, was them staying in Greyson just for Hawi\'s vengeance and the army that Rukiya had sworn to Hawi.

"I\'m more distracted when you are not near, than when you are near. I worry for you more times than I\'ll ever admit, even though I know you can take care of yourself. Maybe this is crazy, especially given the position we\'re currently in.

"But Rukiya Greyson, will you let this anger-controlled and ruthless alpha love you? I can\'t promise that it will be a smooth sail, hell I am certain that loving me will probably turn all targets to your back too, but I can swear to always protect you.

"And if I fail, then that means I\'ll be dead, though Malika told me that I have a long life ahead. Let me use that to protect and be there for you too, my Ruru," Hawi said and Rukiya let out a breath of relief.

She had never imagined that the great Awuor Hawi would ever say those words, hell she knew that Hawi was more unhinged than could be seen, but hearing the psycho alpha ask for her permission to love her?

That was just something that the Greyson alpha hadn\'t imagined was possible.

"But I have enemies too, Hawi—"

"That is a burden that comes with the thrones we have long sat on, Ruru. Though if they try to hurt you, then I\'ll have no other option than to burn them all."

"What if—"

"Yeah, what if you let me kiss you right now. I know the past two times, I acted out rashly. So I\'ll try to be civil this time. Can I… Can I kiss you?" Hawi said, and this time, her voice was no longer filled with hopelessness and a desire to leave Greyson, no.

This time, she had something to protect, someone to live for, someone to take the high and lonely rough road for. She had someone to walk on fire for, and she wouldn\'t even complain.

"Only if you let me fight beside you."

"Well—"

"I\'ll be your executioner, love; Just point me in the direction of everyone and everything you want gone, and I\'ll take them out for you."

"I have something in mind."

"Who?"

"But I don\'t want you to kill it, because I\'ll be damned then."

"What is it?" Rukiya asked worriedly, given she couldn\'t think of anything that could leave Hawi damned anywhere right now.

"I love you," Hawi said and this time, Rukiya didn\'t waste any time smashing their lips together.

She was happy, and so was Hawi.

"Always."

"Always, my Ruru, always."